


and the fire that was starting to spark

by Chronicles_of_Scout



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 14:17:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17245706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chronicles_of_Scout/pseuds/Chronicles_of_Scout
Summary: Kara took something from Time when she reversed the battle with Reign and Time has come to collect.





	and the fire that was starting to spark

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so I wrote this as a form of therapy so it might be a lot more depressing then I had originally intended. Apologies. It pulls inspo from Seeking A Friend for the End of the World just as a hint. Also... Happy New Year.

“What about you, _Director_ Danvers.”Kara teased, nudging Alex’s shoulder as they sat on the couch in her living room.

They had just finished saving the world… again.And there were still so many unknowns.

Mon-El was gone… again.

With Winn of all people; like he hadn’t torn Kara’s heart out enough.Not that that had necessarily been his fault.He’d been poisoned and sent to the future and had been tricked into coming back to the past and… it was a mess.It hadn’t even been his idea for Winn to go to the future, it had been _Brainy’s_.But still… in the dire lack of anyone else to blame Kara needed to blame him for her own sanity.

The whole thing though and defeating Reign, leaving Krypton… it had just made her really tired.

She had a feeling Alex felt the same way.Maybe not about Mon-El but definitely still about Maggie.Kara didn’t blame her, she’d seen how deeply they had cared for one another, had loved Maggie for loving Alex.That they didn’t work out had torn a hole in Kara as well.

She hadn’t only loved Maggie for Alex’s sake; as annoying as the detective could be, it had been more of a sibling annoyance.Like how Kara would get annoyed at Kal when he wouldn’t stop crying those few months they had spent together in his infancy.

Her father had said it was because he hadn’t been birthed in the chambers and so was responding like a normal baby.Aunt Astra had called him a spoiled brat.

Alura had been silent but her quirked eyebrow and solid presence by Kara’s side as they watched Lara try to soothe the baby had told Kara that her mother had much preferred her own experience.

She smiled fondly at the memory, allowing her eyes to close briefly as she took in the moment of peace, the ends of Alex’s hair tickling at the back of her hand.

She missed her mom, and when Alex tried to tease her about it, felt the familiar ache that came with the loss.It hurt less now, knowing Alura was just on another planet rather than dead, and that Kara could visit her whenever a ship was available to get her there but it still sucked.

It still didn’t make her regret her decision to come back.Her decision to return here, where her heart was full even if her life was messy.

When she had made the decision to come back, she hadn’t quite been able to figure out why other than a need to save Earth.When she had seen Alex, she’d realized with a heart stopping clarity that she had craved Alex’s presence with a pain so severe her brain had stopped her from recognizing it.She was pretty sure she had been in shock.Her decision had been finalized after that moment and sitting here with Alex now… it was the best thing.Kara wouldn’t trade just being able to sit like this with her favorite human for anything in the world.

Not Mon-El; not Maggie; not Winn; and not Alura.

“Are we going to be ok?”Alex asked, prompting Kara to open her eyes and look at her sister.Her home.She had lost a lot; had been through a lot; had almost _died_ multiple times but… she still had Alex.And Alex had her.

“Yeah,” she confirmed. “we’ll be ok.”

No sooner had the words left her mouth then a rumble went through the room prompting both women to sit up, alert for any danger.

“Woah,” Alex murmured, gun in hand as she glanced around the room, a frown marring her features.“Earthquake?”

Kara frowned, using her x-ray vision to peer out into the city.“No… no one else seems to be affected…”

There was another, more violent shake and a flash of light that blinded Kara, prompting a sharp hiss as she closed her eyes.

Alex.

She had to get to Alex; make sure she was ok.Whatever baddie this was, was _not_ going to hurt her sister on her watch!

“Kara!”Alex’s shout of alarm had her on her feet, taking a few steps forwards, eyes squinting to try to see.

Or at least she _thought_ she was taking steps towards Alex.Everything was so bright, and she couldn’t feel…

Her legs were gone!

Startled blue eyes found Alex a few feet away, the brunette looking at her in abject fear as Kara literally disappeared before her eyes.Bringing her hands up to her face, Kara watched as she slowly disintegrated into the ether, a well of fear rising up in her throat and choking off her scream.

Alex had her phone to her ear and she was shouting something that Kara couldn’t understand.

Then she was running, face resolute, her hand stretched out to Kara’s, reaching her seconds before Kara felt herself become undone.

The loft was silent, nothing left to show that two women had been enjoying a night of relaxation after world saving endeavors.

Kara and Alex Danvers were just gone.

_ *Krypton, 26 years and 2 weeks ago* _

Alex awoke in phases.

She first became aware of something solid and warm under her, her head cushioned and elevated while the rest of her body sprawled over whatever she was laying on.She tried to groan but found she couldn’t do much more than think in her current predicament.

Which she could do.First things first, getting her eyes open. She needed to be able to see.

It took some doing but she managed to eventually part her lids and peer around.Her scope was limited since she still couldn’t move her head but she saw that she was in a room.

Kara’s room.

Or, more accurately, Kara’s Kryptonian room.

Alex only knew that because of the Black Mercy.Because the Black Mercy had shown her what Kara’s life had been like; what Kara’s house had looked like.

What.

The.

Fuck.

Feeling returned gradually, and when she could finally feel her neck, she turned and found herself with a face full of Kara’s ass.

_Please don’t fart.Please don’t fart.Please don’t fart._

She braced her hands, still shaky from what felt like years of disuse, and used every ounce of her strength to push her body into a roll onto her back.She flopped uselessly onto what she assumed was Kara’s mattress and was finally able to release that groan.

Kara rolling onto her back, near effortlessly Alex noted with some irritation, had her flopping her head back to face her sister.

Kara was pressing her hands to her eyes and let out a soft whimper.“Is this what a hangover is?Is this why you were always so cranky in college?”Kara’s hand reached out blindly and whacked Alex in the face before finally latching onto Alex’s arm.“If it is then I apologize for every mean thing I ever said to you.”

“This isn’t a hangover.”Alex replied tiredly, or at least that’s what she tried to reply.It came out a lot more garbled and when Kara peeked over at her, her confusion was clear on her face.Alex rolled her eyes and shoved her sister’s head, finally feeling like she could sit up.

“This isn’t a hangover.”Alex glared down at Kara who was still acting like she had to keep her head from falling open.“What did you do?”

Kara let out a petulant whine and threw an arm over her eyes.“Why is it always something _I_ did?Why isn’t it ever anything _you_ did?”

“Because,” Alex started, watching as the door to the room they were in hissed open and a floating robot came in.“Anything I did wouldn’t have landed us on Krypton.”

She waited patiently, eyes tracking the robot as she realized that her gun was now on the other side of Kara.She crept a hand carefully over Kara’s abdomen and had just grasped the cool metal in her hand when her sister bolted up.

“What did you say?!”

Kara didn’t wait for an answer, her eyes taking in their environment, the view from the window, the _robot,_ and bugging the more she saw.

The robot ignored them, moving around the room as it cleaned up.Alex noticed it didn’t look quite like Clark’s Kelex, more circular in nature, without a ‘head’, and with what appeared to be a cruder levitation mechanism.Soft air kept it aloft, a reverse vacuum like feature sucking up nonexistent dust and debris from the surfaces it passed over.

Poking Kara in the shoulder with her gun free hand she spoke out the side of her mouth, “are those things dangerous and or can they sound an alarm?”

Kara looked to where she was looking and gave Alex an unimpressed look.“A dust bot?You’re afraid of a dust bot?”

“Well how am I supposed to know?You Kryptonians have only ever tried to kill me!”

“Hey!”Kara protested, standing and walking jerkily over to the dust bot.“I _never_ tried to kill you; unless you count smothering you with affection.”

“I do.”Alex wobbled to her feet as well, realizing that the planet’s new gravitational field was messing with her and Kara’s balance.Her more so since she had never _actually_ been on Krypton before.“You also pushed me off a bridge.”

Kara balked, her jaw dropping as she grabbed the robot and fiddled with something on it’s white face.“I pushed you off a bridge to stop you from being run over by a deranged cop.I was a _teenager_ Alex, it’s not like I was super aware of all of my options back then.”

“Still a murder attempt.”Alex confirmed, finishing taking in the room around them.There wasn’t much to take in, the room was sparsely decorated with a bed and a small chair in the corner.There was a desk on the far side and a carpet in the middle of the room.A window took up most of the front wall and a single door led out of the room.“Why do you make fun of _my_ apartment when your people didn’t even believe in TVs?”

Rolling her eyes Kara tapped her foot on the floor twice and an AI floated up from the ground.It was a hologram of a beautiful woman, her hair a reddish blonde blaze, and eyes a dark amber.She was humanoid with pale features and was dressed in a swathe of dark green robes.

“Greetings Kara Zor-El, how may I help you?”

“Luna?”Kara asked bewildered, dropping the bot and walking to stand in front of Alex.“How—I mean,” she straightened, her posture aligning and an official sort of stance overcoming her. “I need our location, any surrounding life forms within a 5-mile radius and a date please.”

The hologram bowed low at the waist and only when it rose did it speak.“You are at the Great House of El, right wing corridor in the rooms of Kara Zor-El. Zor-El, Jor-El and Alura In-Ze are in the meeting room.The rest of your radius is unoccupied.The date is 25 Ogtal 10000.”

Alex frowned and tilted her head, ever the scientist as she tried to figure out where the thing was plugged in.Until she noticed that Kara had stopped moving, that her sister’s fingers were clenched tightly over Alex’s arm, her pale face etched with panic.

Which was kind of making Alex panic, but no biggie!

“What?”She asked, gripping Kara’s normal strength fingers in her own.“What’s wrong?”

It took Kara several tries but she finally managed to turn shaking lips to Alex and explain that Krypton had exploded on 39 Ogtal 10000.

Which was fine.

That was completely normal that they were apparently in the past.

On an exploding planet.

Without powers.

Or comms.

“Kara,” Alex said patiently, trying not to spook the other woman.“I need you to be very clear here.What happened yesterday?The whole day.Start to finish.Did you have something different for breakfast?Meet someone new?Did you say Candyman three times in a mirror?What did you do?”

Kara dropped her face into her hands, head shaking in agitation before pulling her fingers roughly through her hair.“I don’t… I got back from Argo.”True.That had been the start of it all; Kara had gone to Argo and ripped Alex’s heart straight out of her chest.She’d been left with an oozing wound of a magnitude that no amount of pizza or booze had been able to mend.It had been devastating.Her return had been equally so if only because Alex hadn’t known if the relief, she had felt at seeing her would be short lived.“Then we went after Reign and the witches… no wait, I introduced you to my mom first and… after we stopped those random catastrophes _then_ we went after the witches but they had already resurrected Reign and we were too late so…”more face scrubbing ensued and Alex was tempted to grab Kara’s hands to stop her self-assault.“So I decided to fight fire with fire and that _backfired_ and… and… everybody _died…”_

_That_ brought Alex up short.

“Wait, what?”No one had died.Alex had been there.And yeah ok, Reign had been sucked away by Kryptonian demons and the witches had met a similarly not keeping their life fate and well that weird cult guy hadn’t really made it out but no one on _their side_ had been killed.The good guys had won!

Right?

Kara fisted her hands and pressed them to her eyes, breathing deeply a few times before visibly straightening her posture and dropping her hands from her face.Clear blue eyes met Alex’s with something like resignation; a look Kara only ever really got when she had done something she knew Alex would not be pleased about.

“The first time we went up against Reign and the Witches, we lost.Imra and Brainy were killed when their ship crashed and… and then Sam and my mom and Mon-El… Alex Reign killed them.”Kara glanced away for a moment, her arms wrapping around waist as if she was trying to hold herself together.Alex could do nothing else but reach out and grasp Kara’s biceps, rubbing up and down so that she could offer some comfort.With a short decisive nod Kara looked back at her and continued.“So I turned back time.I undid my mistakes and that’s the present we’re living in.After that… well after that you were with me the whole time.”

Right.

Of course.

Time Travel.

Kara had landed on Earth after having survived a global level extinction event and had developed powers because Earth’s sun was still a baby sun… Time travel was hardly outside the realm of possibilities here.Still…

“Time alteration goes against the codex Kara Zor-El.Your parents have requested that I report any and all delinquent behavior to them straight away.This is not meant to harm you or betray your trust…”

The damn hologram droned on, but Alex had stopped listening after ‘report’.

It was going to report them.

What the flying _fuck?_

Kara’s face reflected her feelings of abject horror which increased when the door hissed open and Alura In-Ze stepped in.

There was a startled pause, Alura’s gaze bouncing between Kara and Alex, eyes widening by the second as the two stood frozen.Then a child peeked around her legs face smug and blonde hair falling in a curtain down her back.She said something in a pitchy child voice that had Alex scrambling for the rough levels of Kryptonian she could remember from her adolescence, rusty as it all was.

“I _told_ you it wasn’t me.”

Well shit.

~*~

To say Kara was overwhelmed would be a gross understatement.

At the moment, she wasn’t sure if she should be trusted to be standing.She and Alex were on Krypton.She and Alex were on Krypton approximately 2 weeks before it imploded.She and Alex were on Krypton approximately 2 weeks before it had imploded, and her mother and a tiny replica of Kara were sitting across from her in the El communal room.Alura had insisted they wait for Zor-El to finish his work, which Kara now knew was code for ‘building Kal and Kara’s escape pods with his brother.’

At least Kara now knew where she got her ‘act cool’ talent from because Alura’s eyes were saucers, her neck almost vanished into her shoulders as she took in her house guests.Little Kara on the other hand was looking at Alex rather curiously, head tilted to the side as she took in the ‘alien’.

“We learned about human’s last year in our Universe History class.”She said arrogantly, voice pitched in such a way that made Kara kind of want to trip her a little.“Your people created fundies.”

“Kara Amandine Zor-El!” Alura’s head snapped to her daughter, scowl set deep in her face.Kara couldn’t remember her mother ever scolding her for something so obtuse; inappropriate as ‘fundies’ were they were still a fact of knowledge and Alura never courted ignorance. Of course, having an excuse to leave the awkward staring contest between mother and future daughter would have set anyone off. “Where did you learn that?”

Little Kara was nonplussed and swung her legs from the high sofa.“In Jan-Ke’s class.Jan-Ke says humans are very primitive and should we ever meet one we should be sure to speak very slowly.”She slowed down her words as if to give them an example, voice turning smug when she finished her little speech.“They’re very prone to violence and eating something called ‘pizza’.”

Wow.

And now Kara understood why Alex hadn’t been able to stand her all those years.

Message received universe.

To her credit Alex just gave a tight smile and nodded while Alura hushed her child for probably the first time.Little Kara crossed her arms and slumped into the couch petulantly.What a brat.

A door hissed to their right and Jor-El and her father walked in, taking in the scene in front of them.There was a brief pause before Jor-El stooped low in front of little Kara and offered her a crystal.

“Lara has been having trouble with your cousin, do you think you can go over and help her?She said she wanted to make those sweets… the ones with the calumin drizzle?She needs an assistant though so—”

Little Kara snatched the crystal out of his hand and gave her three family members hugs as she darted towards the door.“I’ll go.”She shouted, slipping slightly on the smooth floors and being corrected by the AI built into the EL household.The floor itself molded around the fall to help the child keep her balance and then she was gone. 

Kara was still feeling stiff and uncertain.

“Huh, even at that age you were a fatass.”

Or at least she had been until Alex had said _that!_ She swatted the other woman, a disgruntled look taking over her face as Alex smirked at her.

“You two,” her uncle’s booming voice had both Danvers’ turning forward and sitting up.The older man had chosen to remain standing whereas Zor-El had joined Alura on the couch, his gaze just as inquisitive as his child’s had been when taking them both in.“Explain.”

Alex kicked her in the shin and so Kara launched into a ramble of massive proportions as she explained her entire life story and condensed it to a little under an hour.

“And so then I disappeared to here and I guess Alex jumped in after me and that’s all I know.”

They were met with a stunned silence.Not that Kara blamed them, it had been a lot to take in and even she was still reeling from the events.Why she wouldn’t be surprised if they stayed in this awkward silence for _years_ and—

“Time travel Jor!Can you imagine it?”Zor-El flung his arms out wide and this time Kara realized where she got her excitability from.She had wondered for a time after re-meeting Astra since neither her aunt nor her mother were particularly warm.Her father on the other hand looked for all the world like the proudest _dad._ “ _My_ Kara, employing movement between two completely different points in a completely separate dimension to communicate on a level only heard about in our most complex theories. _My_ Kara!”He thumped his chest and turned expectantly to his brother who only rolled his eyes and shoved him out of the way.

“The House AI’s have corroborated your story with our DNA markers.”Her uncle said, hands going to his hips.“It would appear that—”

It was Alura’s turn to shove _him,_ pushing past her brother-in-law and pulling Kara to her feet, her mother’s hands cupping her face.

“My baby,” she sobbed before twisting to take in Zor-El.“We did it Zor; our little girl survives.”Alura’s eyes snapped back to Kara’s and Kara felt something stutter in her chest, heat filling her eyes until tears dripped down her face in a sudden wave of emotion.“Oh my girl, my little girl.”

Her mother grabbed her, pulling her tightly to her chest and rocking her gently. Another set of arms joined in soon after and Kara realized that she was being hugged by _both_ of her parent’s.Her dad wasn’t dead and her mom wasn’t lightyears away from her.They were both _here._

~*~

As much as Alex hated to break up the emotional reunion, she had to agree with Jor-El.Given the current state of their affairs they were working on too limited time to get caught up.Jor-El had cleared his throat and pointed it out prompting Alura to squeeze Kara one last time before stepping away.

Kara had looked so bereft that Alex hadn’t been able to help stepping up to her side and sliding their palms together.

“You see her again.”Alex had leaned up and whispered and Kara had nodded but her gaze had turned to Zor-El after and Alex hadn’t been able to say anything about that.

Now they were going to one of the upper levels of what Alex had come to understand as a compound.Kara had said royalty hadn’t existed on Krypton but she had failed to mention that she had lived in a palace made of crystal!

Alex couldn’t stop looking around, her eyes darting everywhere to take in as much as she could.The walls sloped high and long, a creamy pale texture that reminded Alex of pearl and that housed some sort of pink fluid that moved and sparkled as if in a dance.When she looked closer, she realized that the fluid was _alive_ and that it was actually kept in clear glass tanks recessed into the walls.

“They’re Fire Swarms.”Kara murmured to her, her fingers grasping Alex’s tightly as they matched step.“They’re the equivalent of fish on Earth but they provide light when Rao dips below the horizon.”

Alex had wanted to press her face to the glass, to study the consistency and biology of the creatures but Kara had tugged her along after her parents and uncle. They’d eventually reached a hall guarded by no less than 10 armed military soldiers, followed by a handful of sentient robots, and several biometric scans.

After Jor-El had granted the proper permissions to Alex—Kara had already been in the system—they walked into one of the largest, most well-quipped labs Alex had ever seen in her life.She was in scientist heaven.

This time Kara couldn’t stop her from examining the tools on the table in front of her; her attention bouncing around as Kara explained each new point of her focus.

Until their eyes landed on the space pods.5 in total.One for each adult, one for Kara, and the last presumably for Lara and Kal-El.

Which made no sense because Kara’s family had never made it to Earth.

Zor-El nodded at her, acknowledging her thoughts as he gestured to the pods.“As you can see, we were meant to accompany you on your trip.These pods were the last we could salvage from your great grandfather’s collection and were in serious disrepair.The things we needed to get them up and running were hard to come by and at the moment we only have one working pod.”He paused, licking his lips as a cold stone settled in Alex’s stomach.Not only had they been transported back in time, but the pod that was meant to carry Kara hadn’t been completed.And they had less than two weeks to do so.She glanced aside at the blonde and felt something resolve in her chest.Even though she and Kara had to find their way back home there was no way she was leaving this planet without that second ship working.No way she was going to risk that the results of what occurred in this time and space would affect her own past and present.She _would_ meet Kara; would be granted the greatest happiness she had ever known.

As if she were thinking the same thing Kara turned blazing blue eyes towards her and for a moment Alex couldn’t breathe.That had been happening a lot lately.Kara would look at her or say something and it’d be like all the air left the room.Alex had chalked it up to having missed her sister when Kara had left to Argo but Kara was back now… Maybe it was just a reaction to not wanting to lose Kara at all?

Like now when there was a chance the younger version of her wouldn’t make it off of Krypton?

“How can we help?” Was what she asked, her body turning back towards Jor-El and the ships.Mind racing with the knowledge she had gained over the years she had studied and repaired Kara’s pod.She could probably get the thing up and working again in a matter of days.Which was good since that appeared to be all the time they had.“I fixed Kara’s pod on Earth so I’m familiar with the mechanisms and—”

“And we will be pleased to listen to your council.”Zor-El interrupted, his smile open and warm like Kara’s.It was clear that he was the softy in the El household and Alex suddenly ached for the man who had sacrificed himself for not just his family but his planet.“You can join with our AI and they will extract the necessary data from your mind.From there we can create a better outline with a quicker solution for our current problem.But your time, Alex Danvers, should be spent figuring out how to get our daughter home.To your own time.”

Alex opened her mouth to protest, to say she could do both, but Alura was already shaking her head.The stubborn tilt of her jaw almost making Alex smile since it was the same one Kara gave her when she thought she was being particularly dense.“My husband is right.”Alura looked at Kara fondly, her eyes greedily taking in her daughter’s face.“We managed to save her once, we can do this again.Especially since we must take great care not to alter the space-time continuum.”Here her sharp eyes flicked back to Alex.“Our job will be to get her to you and yours shall be to take her from us.Agreed?”

“I’m standing right here.”Kara mumbled, giving Alex time to figure out how to breathe past her collapsed lungs.She turned her head away, blinking rapidly and coughing a little to try to dispel some of the emotions that had caught her off guard.

“I know you are darling.”Alura was saying. “I see you.I get to see you, Kara.”

~*~

There’s a bit more canoodling amongst the scientists, Alex gushing over each new object Zor-El shows her while Jor-El readies her for a data extraction.Kara can’t help the fond smile that tugs at her lips as she watches Alex get excited over the simplest things.It reminds her vividly of The Little Mermaid when Ariel found a fork and thought it was the greatest creation.

Completely wrong and absolutely, irrevocably adorable.

Not that she could tell Alex that of course, the fiery agent hated being called anything even remotely resembling the word cute.

Said it gave her the heebie-jeebies.

Whatever that meant.

Her mother knocked elbows with her where she stood on Kara’s right side, her own smirk firmly in place.

“I am proud of you Kara.To have found a Zrhemin so young… and one so worthy.It is something your father and I had only ever been able to dream of for you; this happiness.”

She’d lost Kara at Zrhemin.

Honestly, she’d lost Kara at the first syllable of Zrhemin.That was… inaccurate.

False.

Made her heart race and palms sweat with nervousness kind of panic inducing _wrong._

Because Zrhemin was meant for a significant other.A husband or wife or partner or…

Bonded.

Her mother thought Alex was Kara’s _bonded._

The thought sent a thrill of alarm through Kara, though not, for some reason, disgust.

She wasn’t disgusted by the idea of her and Alex.

Wasn’t even annoyed at the assumption.

… She actually… 

_Rao._

Did she like the idea of Alex being just _hers_?

Wetting her lips, Kara took a slight step away from her mother, Alura following her with worry starting to cloud her features.Because clearly Kara was acting like a maniac.Clearly, she should have been able to just laugh off the misunderstanding, correct her mother, and move on.

Clearly.

But instead… instead she was imagining what Alex being hers would entail.

No more Maggie’s interfering with Earth Birthday or random one-night stands when Kara went to visit Earth 1 or listening to her run herself ragged over some new girl, she thought might be pretty but could also be straight.

A lot of Kara’s problems would be solved if Alex was off the market… and the fact that her mother thought _Kara_ was the one who would take her off said market?Well… wow.Just… butterflies?Why were there butterflies?Why were the butterflies getting worse?Holy fiddle faddle!What was happening to her?

Her mortification must have reflected on her face because the next thing she knew Alura was gently guiding her to a quiet corner of privacy.

“I have read up on many of Earth’s customs and laws in preparation for this journey,” her mother started, voice gentled with concern and love, “so I understand that the current climate is not… welcoming to you having a woman as your Zrhemin but Kara… you must remember that such things have never mattered here on Krypton.We are not a perfect race but we do judge based on character, not gender or sex or sexuality.Those things mean very little to us in the scheme of good and evil.”

Kara managed a squeak, her eyes widening as she realized that she might be kind of gay.Like maybe a lot kind of gay.

For Alex.

For her _sister._

Who wasn’t technically her sister but kind of was in all the ways that mattered— _should_ have mattered. _Rao,_ had Krypton always been this hot?Was she the only one sweating?She tugged at her top, the sweater fluttering as she tried to fan herself.

“What?”Was her final eloquent response that came out more like a noisy whistle than an actual word but was all she was able to mentally process at the moment.

Alura’s brow pinched, her hand rubbing soothingly up and down Kara’s arm as she tried to ease some of her daughter’s anxiety.“Your father and I are very proud—”

“No!I mean, thank you but not… what do you… Alex and I aren’t… I mean, I don’t—”

“Oh,” Alura muttered, brows pinching even closer together.“Do you not feel for her as a mate should?”

Well Kara couldn’t exactly deny _those_ feelings anymore.Even thinking about Alex—her smile, her laugh, her _touch,_ made her feel like…

Like…

Like _home._

Her heart thudded in her chest and for the first time in years, she felt like she couldn’t breathe.

“Mom.”

Alura had pulled her into a hug in seconds, the embrace soothing the frayed edges of Kara’s nerves just as quickly.She’d forgotten how powerful her mother’s hugs could be.

“It is Alex who does not feel this way for you then?”Alura whispered to her, an edge to her voice that Kara couldn’t quite place.

She shuddered as she came to her final realization.

She had feelings for Alex that were more than sisterly.Which meant that she liked women.But none of that mattered because Alex…

Alex didn’t feel that way about her…

Getting sent back in time _sucked._

~*~

 

“Ok,” Alex starts when Kara leads them into her father’s lab.She pushes her hands out in front of her, fingers lacing and knuckles cracking as she tries to work out her kinks.“I need everything you guys have on Time Travel.”

The data extraction had taken awhile and Alex had admittedly indulged her scientific interests by pandering Zor-El with questions.Hence why they were only just getting to the actual research part of their trip when it was almost time for dinner.Jor-El had sent them off with stern orders not to get too distracted and miss the evening meal.Kara had promised, Alex hadn’t.

She’d thought—hoped—no one would notice but Alura had sent her an unamused look and so she knew she wouldn’t be able to get out of eating.Not that Kara would have let that happen anyway.The Kryptonian took meals very seriously and would hardly let Alex skip one.Especially for science.

Brat.

Speaking of… Kara had been kind of stiff and quiet since they’d left her parents and uncle behind.She’d looked almost… sad.

Which made Alex’s heart ache.She couldn’t imagine the pain Kara was going through.It was one thing to experience losing your entire planet once but this would be the third time Kara would have to watch her family perish.

It wasn’t fair.

And while Alex has seen for herself—was actually currently living with the consequences—of messing with time… the temptation to maybe fix it… to give Kara and her family a fair shot…

Her mind was already buzzing with ideas.

As a huge science nerd, Alex had read and watched more than her fair share of sci-fi and fantasy.Time traveling had been a huge point of conversation between her and Jeremiah and they’d come up with hundreds of theories and built around things like Doc Brown and the Butterfly Effect.

So she knew things.

Had often tried to figure out how one could get away with changing time.

And the only way she’d been able to figure it out was through magic.

Real magic.

Magic tricked the time loop.Or at least satisfied it.

As far as she could tell when someone messed with time, they were creating a breach.Time hated breaches and so to fill them, it forced a fix.Hence her current situation.

But… if she could fix the breach before the Time realized it even existed…

Alex wasn’t a magician or a witch or any such thing but she was a scientist… and in some worlds they were pretty much the same thing.

Like on Krypton.

…. possibilities.

Possibilities she couldn’t tell Kara about just in case she was wrong.Which meant she’d have to get her sister to go away.Far, far away.

But first, she had to distract her from the impending apocalypse.

When her knuckles pop dramatically, Kara looks at her with affectionate, eyes sparkling as she presses her palm to a seemingly ordinary wall.“You will have access to everything my family has on time travel.Everything Krypton has though… well that would mean involving the Guild leaders and I think we’ll want to stay away from them while we’re here.”

The wall pulsed purple for a moment before slowly fracturing into a bunch of tiny tablets.Kara tapped something into the air in front of her and several of the tablets popped out from their neighbors.

Alex blinked.“Um, one that was really cool.And two: why are we avoiding the Guilds?”

“Immigration is currently illegal on Krypton.As is Time Travel.You’d be sentenced to death and I’d be sent to the Phantom Zone.Both scenarios I’d like to avoid.”Kara pulled the tablets from the wall and plopped them into Alex’s outstretched arms.“How’s your Kryptonian?”

“Rusty.”Alex admitted, eying the thin slabs of crystal she had just been handed.

Kara hummed and tapped her foot on the floor.The same AI that had appeared in her room appeared now.

“Luna, I need you to aide Alex in her research.Whatever translation she needs understand?”

The hologram bowed.“Of course Great Scion.”

Then Alex was being tugged over to a flat work bench and Kara was taking one of the crystals from her and setting it flat on the very edge.

“Ask for English.”Kara ordered gently, gesturing for Alex to set the rest of the tablets on the other side of the table.

“Oh, um… can I see this in English.”

Luna flickered and then what was presumably the contents of the tablet were scrolling in the air before her.

Alex’s jaw unhinged.

“She’ll act as a database as well while she’s connected.”Kara was saying, hand generously closing Alex’s mouth for her.“You can ask her specific questions and if the text has the answer, she’ll give it to you.Here,” Kara stepped away for a moment and Alex jerked her head to keep track of her in this alien environment but Kara had only moved to what looked like her dad’s desk.She returned with a crystal sphere and wrapped Alex’s hand around it.The orb started to glow and Kara pressed her lips to Alex’s knuckles where they were wrapped tightly around the crystal making Alex’s heart go into conniptions and her mouth go dry.What the hell was wrong with her?The glow receded almost immediately and Kara flashed her a grin, which did _not_ help her sudden arrythmias.“Now it will respond to you.It’s… like a notebook, I guess.Just more… You speak to it and it takes your notes for you.Stores them in audio and text so you can go back and access it the same as the _clexons_.”

Clearing her throat, Alex felt herself steady at the new vocabulary, the nerd in her over ruling whatever the hell was happening.“The clewho?”

“Clexons.”Kara repeated with a roll of her eyes, already organizing the table in front of them.“Their sort of like if every book was stored on a hard drive. Like a virtual library.”

“That’s… useful.”

Kara flashed her another grin and Alex felt her own lips tick up.

“Ready to kick this time traveling things butt?”

Alex opened her mouth to answer but Luna beat her to it, the AI’s monotone words bringing a red flush to Kara’s face.“I am sorry Great Scion but I have been programmed to alert Alura Zor-El in the instance of any foul verbiage.This is not to harm you…”

The AI droned on and Kara sputtered in protest.The whole situation was so bizarre that Alex couldn’t help but laugh, especially when Alura came through the door face set in disapproval.

Oh, this might be fun.

 

~*~

It had been more than a week and they were no closer to finding their way home then they had been when they’d started.

Alex had found _something…_ Something that she wasn’t telling Kara about.Kara only knew because she _knew_ Alex; knew what that twinkle in her eye meant.What that small twitch in her lips meant.

She’d had the same hidden giddy expression when she’d finally beat Kara at chess.

Which means that Kara probably won’t be figuring out her secret anytime soon.

That sucks.

Alex has also banned her from the lab for the day.She says she needs to put the finishing touches on some experiment of hers and has recruited Zor-El to help her.It’s because there are two of them in the office turned lab that Alex said Kara would no longer fit.

“It’ll be too crowded.You can go spend time with baby Kal-El; I know how much you miss seeing him at this age.”

And, while Kara had stopped in to see her baby cousin as an actual baby, and to spend time with her aunt Lara, she had inevitably found herself wandering off alone.

She’d gone down to the market even though she’d been expressly forbidden from entering due to the chaos that was occurring on the streets.

Turns out the council couldn’t keep Krypton’s destruction secret forever and with a mere 3 days to doomsday, large cataclysms had already started to occur.

So Kara had understandably been expecting to walk out into pure anger and fear.

What she’d found instead was quiet.Deathly quiet streets, abandoned food carts and shops, drawn curtains…

Argo had become a ghost town.

She’d taken the time to remind herself what her home had looked like; to reacquaint herself with the different trinkets and such that she wouldn’t be able to find anywhere else.

There were candies lying on a countertop that she pocketed, the owners of the store nowhere in sight.Kara had pressed her fingerprint to the counter, her family crest appearing on the smooth blue crystal and accepting her payment.

Even in a deserted town she couldn’t quite bring herself to commit theft.

Eventually she’d found herself on a hilltop, just outside of her family’s property, sucking on one of the candies and contemplating her newfound feelings.

She’d expected them to be life changing.And they were.

She didn’t even know how to act around Alex anymore without blushing or stuttering.

Rao, the other day she had kissed her hand when all she’d had to do was retain skin contact for a few seconds.

Alex had blushed, but Alex always blushed when Kara showed her any sign of affection.

It was annoying.

And lovely.

Kara was starting to believe this ‘love’ thing was exhausting.She hadn’t felt like this with Mon-El or James.

Half the time she’d been trying to convince herself to _stay_ in those relationships and now, with Alex, she was fighting to keep herself _out_ of one.

Or, well… at least not make a fool of herself.

Because the thought of being _in_ a relationship with Alex was just exhilarating.Freeing.Soothing.

She picked at a blade of grass, the soft purple strands banding around her fingers in greeting before reaching towards Rao’s setting presence.

This far away and Kara could still see the first signs of the inevitable.

Fire storms danced around the red sun, violent loops of crimson yellow flickering around the star’s surface.Like someone was striking the God with a whip of fire.

Heart clenching at the visual, Kara chose instead to look out over her family’s home; the actual house of El, gleaming against the dying light.Alex had glared at her when she’d seen the outside and accused Kara of living in a floating castle.

Which was a lie.

The house was built into the structure of mountainous crystal and carved into being; hence not floating.Plus it hardly resembled a castle.

It was honestly more like a villa… with chateau like features.

But not a castle.Those were dusty and cold.

The house of El had only ever been warm.

Kara would miss it but her priority—her sole pursuit from here on out was getting Alex home.

Even before these confusing feelings, she’d staked that as her main goal.Any other outcome had been unacceptable.

But now… she had no words to describe that level of pain.

Because as terror inducing as her feelings were, they weren’t… new.

It was like half of her was in this dizzying tizzy over her newfound love, freaking out and banging against her skull in a tantrum while the other half of her looked on in unamused annoyance as if to say ‘how did you not know this?’

Which, she supposed, she couldn’t fault the latter.How _had_ she not known this?

Alex was literally her favorite person ever.And not in a Kal-El was my adorable baby cousin who I adored kind of way but in an Alex was the most beautiful, kind, smart, gorgeous, funny, supportive, cool, generous, hot, intelligent, badass, comforting, effervescent, genius that she had ever met in her life kind of way.

_No one_ could outdo Alex.No matter what they did or accomplished, Kara would still think Alex was better.That kind of sibling hero worship usually faded when both parties were adults but… she still had it in spades.

Alex was her hero.

Alex was her… everything.

In the past she might have been able to shrug this off as a mild case of obsession.Maybe an unhealthy bout of codependence.In her present, where their lives were very much at stake and her parents thought Alex was her Zrhemin… much harder to shrug off.Especially when she considered how much she liked touching Alex and having Alex touch her.Just being in the same room as her was—

She flops onto her back.Why did she have to figure that out now?

World ending revelations hardly ever ended in happiness.

And given how little they’d found on time travel…

No.

Snapping into a sitting position, Kara dug her fingers into the dry earth beneath her, the grass wriggling against her angry grip.No.Alex was not _dying_ here.

There had to be a way.

Kara would _make_ a way.

The world tilts slightly as she rushes to her feet, intent on returning to the lab and figuring this all out.

A dark figure blocks her path.

She knows him when she sees him.

Knows that this is the being that had helped Kal-El when he’d been stuck in that wacko world where the villains were the good guys.Kal still had nightmares.

Even knowing that, knowing that the person before her was probably the only reason her world had been returned to normal, she can’t help but feel a tingle of fear. From the moment she’d laid eyes on him, the dark green cloak fluttering in an invisible breeze, her palms had tingled and her diaphragm had constricted.When her hands went to clench, fingers retreating slowly into her palms, she’d forced herself to relax.

To breathe.

His presence didn’t always have to mean world ending.It just meant that there was something wrong.

That was normal.

Something was always wrong.

And time traveling?Clearly very wrong.

So she’d exhaled slowly, moving from her seated position on the hillside outside of her family’s home and stood to greet the man before her.

The Spectre.

“Hello,” a thrill of pride when her voice didn’t even waver.“Are you here to help us?”

The silver face regarded her impassively, the man floating just in front of her and making no move to respond.

Kara waited patiently, body thrumming with adrenaline and ever aware of her family—of _Alex_ —waiting just a mile or two behind her.

She could run back, throw herself between whatever danger the Spectre was here to reveal and her loved ones but she wasn’t new to the hero business anymore.Couldn’t hide behind heroes more experienced and knowledgeable than herself.

Kara was stuck in the past with only Alex as her lifeline and she’d be damned if she allowed anything to hurt her… sister. _Rao it felt weird to call her that now._

She waited.

The minutes ticking by in near agonizing slowness.Kara’s eyes focused on a patch of grey clouds floating behind the Spectre’s head; they kind of looked like the letter M.And a C.Captain… Was that a web?Cool.

When the Spectre did speak, his voice was gravelly and layered.An echo of the people who had worn the guise before him, who had sought vengeance in the name of their lost lives.This Spectre, Kara remembers Kal telling her, contains the soul of Parallax, the Green Lantern once known as Hal Jordan.He had been a hero and then a villain and now he just was.

But he’d helped Superman.

That probably meant something, right?

“Kara Zor-El,” the rumble flowed into the slinking twilight, shattering the peace brought by the umber tones of Rao descending against the horizon.“You have made an enemy of Time and so Time has made an enemy of you.”

She clenched her jaw—all of her muscles actually—in an attempt to stop the shaking but couldn’t quite keep the uncertainty from her voice when she responded.“It was my choice.To mess with the timeline.It was my choice.Alex didn’t have anything to do with it.”

“Alex Danvers followed you.She was not the target of this lesson.”

“Lesson?”

The Spectre made no outward movements, didn’t so much as shift but Kara got the feeling, she had annoyed him somehow.That her words had angered him.

“You changed time to save the lives of those you loved.Now you will watch as those you love die.There will be no loopholes.”

Kara swallowed, her fists clenching at her sides.“Let Alex go.”

“Alex Danvers was not the target of this lesson.”

“Then let her go!”Kara screamed, her body flexing in protest as she tried to use muscles that the yellow sun had granted flight.“Let her go!She has nothing to do with this!It was me!I did this!If you want someone to punish, punish me!”

“Alex Danvers was not the target of this lesson.”The Spectre repeated, causing Kara to howl in frustration and whirl away in a fit of hopeless anger.

There were several moments of tense wrath, where the world blurred around her and all she heard was the heavy thud of her heart and her own ragged breathing.By the time she’d calmed down the sun had already set and the Spectre was still standing there.

Waiting.

“I lost my parents when I was thirteen years old.”Kara said slowly, lips trembling as she stood before the only person who might be able to help her.“I lost my parents and my planet and everything I knew.My best friends, my crushes, my teachers, my bullies, my nannies, my _aunt. **I lost everything**.” _The tears fall freely and she swipes angrily at her face, trying to remain strong.She’d learned from experience that mega powers like the Spectre didn’t deal well with emotions.“I lost everything.”She repeated more calmly.“And then they were ripped away again when I went under the black mercy.I know what it is… to lose them… I can survive that.If that’s my fate then fine.I accept it.I messed with powers outside of my control and I…please—please I can’t _lose_ her.”Her throat aches as her voice breaks over those last few words, but she pushes on.Intent to prove Alex’s innocence—her _worth._ “Alex didn’t do anything.She isn’t guilty of anything more than _loving_ me.So please.Just let her go.”She staggered forward, unable to stop her hands from wringing helplessly in front of her.A ragged exhale caught painfully in her chest, and she coughed, her voice echoing in the stillness of the night.All of Krypton asleep now that Rao was.“Send her back.Please just send her back.I’ll stay and I won’t try anything.If you give me a way to get her out of here… _please.”_

There was another long pause before the Spectre spoke again.“Alex Danvers was not the tar—”

Kara lost it.

Any control she’d been holding onto vanishes as the same reply is repeated.From the moment she’d woken up in the past she’d had a feeling she wouldn’t be making it off Krypton.But Alex?There was no way in hell she was going to allow Alex to _die._ Not for Kara’s mistakes.

Not for anything.

So, when her rage empties itself from her belly in a full-on scream, she can do little more than direct the trajectory of her fist to the Spectre’s unflinching face.There’s no surprise when the blow goes _through_ him, and she only barely pauses to spin into her second attempt.

And she turns back to a burning planet.

The ground rumbles below her, craters and fissures appearing as the world’s core destabilizes.It’s hot.

It’s unbearably hot.

Her lungs protest, and she grabs desperately at her chest in confusion.She can feel the wind whip harshly against her face but she still feels like she can’t breathe.Feels her lungs working but getting no sustenance from the air around her.Her heart thunders and collapses, pain searing her flesh as the ground burns her.Kara raises tearing eyes to her home, a meteor from the exploding star striking the House of El and causing a perfect moment of red stillness.There’s a sharp ringing in her ears.She sees the moment of impact, sees her home crumbling before her eyes, feels the shockwaves beneath her.

Dead.

Time resumes and that perfect redness rushes to meet her.

There’s no point in running.

Kara doesn’t want to run.

Alex had been in there.

Alone.

Kara had left her alone.

“Are you quite done behaving like a child?”

The Spectre’s voice pulls her from her thoughts.Kara blinks slowly, the blurriness fading to reveal the green lawn of the House of El before her.There are tiny rocks digging into her knees and shins, a slight burning agony that she knows comes from a series of small miniscule cuts.Her chest is in anguish, and rises and falls in staccato as it tries to regain some form of equilibrium.

There’s only one word she can think to croak out.

“Why?”

“So that you can remember what is at stake.”

Kara hadn’t been there for that part of Krypton’s destruction but she’d imagined it enough times to torture herself.The pain of living it though…

She can’t bring herself to face the Spectre.

Can barely move except to breathe.

In.

Greedy, too fast, slow down.

Out.

More.Please, more.

Green boots enter her line of vision and then the Spectre folds himself into a seated position before her.“I am not in the business of taking Kara Zor-El.I am here only for Redemption.”

Kara tries to speak.Swallows, tries again.

“I don’t understand.”

“You are the one who messed with the timeline, you are the one this lesson is intended for.Alex Danvers is not tied to your fate.She is free to leave; no one shall interfere.”

And Kara grabs at that bit of knowledge like a dying man.“How?”She grabs the Spectre’s shoulders, surprised when he remains solid beneath her.“Please, tell me how.I’ll do anything.”

“She will leave as you do.”The Spectre rose, obviously done with the conversation and Kara can’t help the desperate grip she gets on his ankles.

“ _Please._ She’s the only good thing I… she’s my _home._ Surely you can remember what that’s like.I just need—please help me. _”_

For a second, she thinks she’s reached him.She thinks that maybe he will finally see reason and help her, but then he is phasing his legs out of her grip and floating away.

“I have said all I can Kara Zor-El.I would advise you to make sure she knows how much she is cherished while you have the chance.It will be the only thing you can control in the coming days.”

“Hal!”She screeches, “please!You were a hero once!Please help me!I’ll do anything!Please!”

The Spectre had frozen at the sound of his name—his _human_ name and turned to her with an unreadable expression.His mouth curls and his eyes darken to a black abyss.

And then he’s gone.

Kara’s not sure how long she sits out there after but she only becomes aware that she hasn’t moved when one of the house AI’s finds her.She’s escorted home and Alura fusses over her at the entryway.

“Alex and your father are a lot a like you know?”Alura says as she ushers Kara to the room they’d set aside for her and Alex.“I had to force them both to bed; told them you’d gone to visit a friend.”

Kara’s thankful for the lie, even though she’d always thought her mother to be nothing but honest.To hear her say this small untruth… Kara’s glad for it.Glad for this opportunity to know her mother as an adult, see her thought processes.

Now that she has Alex…

Kara can see how desperation makes you hone a near single minded focus.

She hugs her mother outside the door.

“I love you… very much.”Alura squeezes her back and returns the sentiment but is unable to do much more since Kara has already pulled away and entered her room.

Alex is asleep in the middle of the bed, sprawled out like she is trying to reach every corner with her hands and feet.Kara smiles affectionately, moving through her nightly routine in silence as the Spectre’s words replay in her head.

_No one shall interfere._

Alex could go.Kara could find a way for her to go.

The Spectre had been clear.Kara had messed with time and so Kara would face the consequences.Alex wasn’t bound by those rules.If they could find a way home then Alex would be able to go no problem.It was Kara who would have to stay behind.

Winn had asked her once, during one of their stupid games of truth or dare, whether she’d want to know the how and when of her death.Back then she’d answered no.

Back then…

Back then, it wouldn’t have meant having a chance to save Alex.

Oddly enough, Kara had thought she’d feel more upset with the confirmation that she was going to die.That she owed some God somewhere a good fist shaking and tears of agony.Instead, as she slid into bed, maneuvering herself under Alex’s arm, she couldn’t help but be grateful.

Alex grumbled, wrapping an arm around Kara’s back and pulling her flush against her, her nose nuzzling along Kara’s temple and into her hair.

And sad, Kara thought as she stared at Alex’s sleeping features.She was also very sad.

Alex’s hair fell sloppily over her face in her sleep, her lips parted just so to breathe.Eliza had said it was because she had sinus problems at night, and it was something that Alex was unnecessarily self-conscious about.Kara had never understood why; it’s not like anyone would hold _breathing_ against her.

Humans were so weird.

And beautiful.

She stroked her thumb over Alex’s ribs, her head tucking neatly into her chest as one of Alex’s hands wove through her hair.

Humans could also be very beautiful.

Alex hums, apparently now aware that her body pillow is an actual person.“Did you just get in?”

“No,” Kara lies, forcing calmness into her voice.Sleepy Alex might be less aware than awake Alex but if she sensed even a hint of the despair Kara was currently feeling, she’d be back in the lab in a heartbeat.Which was useless apparently.Kara hadn’t left Krypton via Time Travel, she’d left via pod.Alex would need a pod.“I was talking to my mom.Go back to sleep, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Alex hums again, presses a sloppy kiss to the top of Kara’s head, and is once again asleep.

Three days.They had three days left and then… then Kara would be alone again.

But Alex would be safe.

She squeezes her eyes shut, focuses on the fact that Alex will be alive when this is all over.

Let’s that follow her into her dreams.

And, for at least that night, she forces herself to forget that she won’t be there to see it.

~*~

Alex is already gone by the time she wakes up, which Kara is simultaneously grateful for and grieving over.

They don’t have much time left and…

It’s better this way.

The more time she spends with Alex, the more time she’ll have to figure out Kara’s new melancholic mood.It would be easier if she remained in the dark.

There was no fighting time.

Barry had tried and he’d lost.

Spectacularly.

So, no.Kara wasn’t going to fight the powers that be on this.

She also wasn’t going to lay idly by either.

Her father is in the ‘Pod Room’ with her Uncle.Both men in their under robes, the pristine robes of the House of El, standing by the entryway where they couldn’t get dirty.

“I need a pod for Alex.”Kara says when she’s within earshot, her Uncle’s brow furrowing as he glances at his brother in concern.“I know that’s a lot to ask but…”and here she launches into the whole story.Everything that had happened with the Spectre yesterday… Her life from start to finish again, but adding what she knows about each family members fate…How Zor-El was successful in saving Argo city but how Jor-El had fallen to Zod.She doesn’t care what it alters, she’ll be dead soon anyway.And as long as it’s her paying the price…“She means everything to me.If she has a chance at surviving this... she’ll be angry but she’ll be alive.If you could program the pod to return her to our time… To let her sleep until she gets back home… Dad, please I—”

Zor-El has hauled himself out of the pit and pulled her into a hug before she finishes her sentence.Jor-El sitting on the edge of the platform and keeping silent vigil until Kara has regained her composure.

“Your Zrhemin has been hard at work in trying to reclaim your position in the time belt.”Her Uncle says in his gruff voice.“From what she told us last night she has a promising lead that might be available as soon as today.”

Kara shakes her head, she and her father also sitting on the platform now, with Kara squeezed between the two greatest men she’d ever known.“It won’t work.”

“Why?”Zor-El asks, voice lined with barely suppressed anger.“Because some supernatural being came out of nowhere and told you so?”

Kara would laugh if this weren’t so painful.If she’d had more time.Her family, for all of their accomplishments and knowledge, had not seen the things she’d seen on Earth.They had not been privy to magic, and human science, and other dimensions.Of course this would sound silly to them.

To Kara this was barely a blip on her ‘weird’ radar.

“I will try whatever you want me to try.”She says instead of arguing.“But if it doesn’t work… if we’re stuck here, I need to get her back to Earth.I need her to be safe.”She looks up at her dad, their identical blue eyes meeting in the well-lit garage.“I need her to be safe in the same way that you need me to be safe.”

Zor-El nods slowly, his gaze turning briefly to his brother before he sighs and draws Kara back into his arms.

“Ok.If it doesn’t work, Alex gets a pod.”

~*~

When she finally pulls herself from her father and Uncle, it is with the promise of breakfast.They steer her to the dining room and directly into the lion’s den.

The lion’s den being Alex’s angry face.

Because apparently Alex is angry.Pissed more like.

Anyone who described her as seething would not be far off the mark.

The brunette was standing by the table, her fists clenched at her side and her face a nice candle apple color.The soft blue of the loose-fitting shirt and pants she was wearing only served to accentuate her fury and make Kara wilt with both fear and adoration.

Rao, this love thing sucked.

Zor-El whispered a quick ‘run’ into her ear, but was too late to actually assist in Kara’s escape when Alex stomped angrily towards them.

“What the hell is this?”Alex demanded as something solid was thrust into Kara’s chest.She blinked stupidly and fumbled with the object Alex had hit her with: a completely smooth cylinder the length of her forearm.Well, almost completely. Frowning in confusion, she tilted the object until she could see what had created the rough texture under her thumb.

Her stomach dropped, falling past her feet into the void and making her eyes smart.

The Spectre truly was cruel.

In cursive on the side of the capsule was the inscription _Alex Danvers courtesy of Kara Zor-El._

She’d barely had time to feel her own ire, before Alex was attacking her again, shoving her shoulder and forcing Kara a step back.

“Where is it?!”

“Where is what?”

“My time device!I had it set to test this morning and it was just gone.This,” she gestured at the cylinder, “was there instead.And I know you couldn’t have moved it yourself.You don’t have your powers here.So this little group trip is making a lot of sense to me!”She glared at the brothers standing behind Kara, eyes flinty specks of gold as her anger rose.

Kara tried to fight a scowl and failed, fingers coming up to pinch the skin between her eyebrows.“Do you seriously think I would sabotage you?Or myself for that matter?”

As usual Alex held onto her anger for far longer than was warranted, her lips curling at Kara’s words even as she turned to pace away from her.

“Then where _is_ it?”

“I don’t know.”

And Kara had to say that at least Alex hadn’t shot anyone yet with how angry she clearly was.

“Kara—”

“ _I don’t know where it is Alex.I didn’t go in your lab.I didn’t take anything and I did not leave this here.”_She paused, forced the screech out of her voice and tried to sound as reasonable as possible, the odd object she was fiddling with enough of a distraction to regain her composure.Alex only ever fed off of her anger.“All I did in the past few hours was beg the Spectre to spare your life when it became clear that mine was forfeit.”

After the events of yesterday, and falling asleep in Alex’s arms, and then _also_ balling to her dad and uncle, she’d decided that her nerves were much too frayed to keep the truth from Alex.

The Spectre had told her what was to happen, he hadn’t been the one to make it so.That had been all Kara.

And now her selfishness had put Alex in danger.The Spectre had given them a gift, a miracle that Kara had only dreamed of before.Any anger she’d been housing had pretty much evaporated when Kara realized what was in her hand.

“What?”

“The Spectre is—"

“I know who he is Kara!What are you saying—What does ‘mine was forfeit’ mean?”

Kara shook her head, taking a step forward and holding the device out to Alex who eyed it like it was about to explode.

“I asked the Spectre to help us.Me going back in time to save everyone?”She bit her lip, huffing slightly when her hair got caught in her mouth.The floor below her pulsed and she focused on the warm heartbeat of the House of El. _Keep calm.You’re ok._ “I can’t bring myself to regret that but I still messed with things I wasn’t supposed to.This is the way home Alex.”

And Alex lit up, snatching the device back from Kara and digging her fingers into her forearm.

“You jerk!Why didn’t you just _say_ that in the first place?”Alex twirled the device in her hands, trying to find the mechanism, and smiling in victory when she saw the small latch on the tail end of the cylinder.“How’s this work?”The question was asked even as Alex expertly maneuvered the latch and revealed the contents of the object, a series of small gears becoming visible emitting a soft green light.

“You sure you need me to figure that out?”Kara questioned with a soft smile.

Alex rolled her eyes and made a shooing motion.“Say your goodbyes then.I’m assuming this thing is a one time use so we won’t really be able to test it.”

There was a grumble that sounded something like “my machine could have gone at least three trips” that made Kara’s lips tick but she made no other movements.Alex meanwhile had turned to an entering Alura and started babbling about the impending exit.

Kara’s mother had seemed slightly alarmed but once Alex had explained who the Spectre was, at least this iteration of him, she had seemed more relaxed.Alex had stuck out her hand in a goodbye and Alura had accepted before turning to the remaining three occupants of the room.

Alex quirked a smile at Zor-El who had become somewhat of a mentor to her, and crossed the room to shake his hand as well.He had accepted before tugging her into a hug with a gentle laugh.

Kara had missed hearing that.

“Do you want me to call your aunt and cousin?”Her mother asked softly, hand rubbing across Kara’s shoulder.

Kara shook her head, watching Alex and Jor-El give each other respectful nods.“There’s no need.I’m not leaving.”

~*~

Alex thought she had been doing a standup job so far.

Kara had broken the laws of nature; had purposefully gone back in time to undo her mistakes despite the fact that Barry, Kara’s very good friend, had done so with enormous consequences.

Multiple times.

Kara had still taken that risk.

Alex hadn’t gotten angry.She’d understood and been patient.She’d jumped through a portal to follow Kara on her latest adventure.

Hadn’t fought child Kara, even though child Kara was a fucking menace and she didn’t understand how that brat had grown into _her_ Kara.Even if she was a fucking adorable menace and only seemed to act up for Alex and adult Kara…

Still evil incarnate.

Anyway, the point was that Alex had done amazingly.

So when she’d gone into her pseudo lab this morning to find her and Kara’s only way home _gone,_ well she thought it was understandable that she’d blown a gasket.

She’d recovered quickly.

Especially when Kara had told her the _whole_ story but now…

Well now she was really fighting the urge to rip Kara a new one.When they got back to their time and _their_ earth?Oh, it was going to be at least 10 rounds in the training room for the Kryptonian.

And no massages after.

Or potstickers!

“Kara,” she heard herself start, patient as always as she turned to regard the blonde.“I understand that you miss your family but this—” she bit her lip and paused, searching for the right words and trying not to smack that stupid smile off of her Kryptonian’s face.“This time has no future for you.You’ll die.”

“I know.”Kara says, stupid smile still in place.

“You know?”

“Yes.”

“And you’re ok with that?”

Kara inhaled, blue eyes clouding slightly as she gave a slight shrug.“I kind of think I have to be Alex.”

“I’m going to hit you.”

“You can here.”Kara teases, smile growing even though a tear has fallen onto her cheek now.“You won’t hurt yourself so you should get in as many as you want.”

And all of the credit Alex has been giving herself vanishes at that little joke.“God dammit Kara!This isn’t some fucking joke!You’re coming with me.”

Kara doesn’t protest when Alex grabs at her, the agent’s calloused palm sliding down her wrist to interlace their fingers together.With her other hand, Alex tries activating the device and frowns when nothing happens.She glares at Kara menacingly and cautiously releases her hand to fiddle with the Spectre’s time device again.Stupid thing!Why wouldn’t that asshat include instructions?

“It won’t work Alex.”Kara tries to explain, her voice soft.“This is my punishment, not yours.It won’t work for me.”

“What did you do?”Alex asks, giving her a side eye while fiddling with the device.

It’s amusing enough that Kara has to fight a laugh.“Why is it always something _I_ did?”

Alex scowls but doesn’t look up from what she’s doing.“I can list a million reasons but let’s focus on the whole “this is my punishment” thing.”Alex makes her voice pitchy and pulls a face when she mocks Kara, making the blonde huff a laugh.“How do you come up with this shit?It might just be broken and—”

“No.” Kara interrupts, finally placing her hands over Alex’s to gain her attention.And it looks like Kara is in physical pain, the smile she was trying and failing to keep on her face trembling under the onslaught of emotions.And Alex has never seen her look quite so _bereft…_ but she has heard that hitch in her voice before.Has heard Kara say goodbye.“The Spectre was very clear Alex.This has nothing to do with you.‘ _You changed time to save the lives of those you loved.Now you will watch as those you love die’._ That’s what the Spectre said.You didn’t do anything wrong.It was all me.That’s why I’m here; the Spectre said my punishment was to lose the one’s I love all over again.There is no way home for me.”When it looks like her jaw is going to fall off from how much it wobbles, she bites her lip, unable to even see Alex anymore through the haze of her tears.“Alex, I need you to know how sorry I am.How much I wish that—”

“Shut up.”Alex grabs her face, thumbs swiping over Kara’s cheeks fiercely but with as much tenderness as she can manage at this moment.It makes Kara sob.“Stop it.You’re getting home. _I’m_ getting you home.I can fix this Kara.Whatever that asshole said to you—”

Kara shakes her head, hands wrapping around Alex’s wrists.“This wasn’t your fault.I don’t ever want you to feel like this was your fault.You are—” her breath catches, and she has to try again to force the words out. When she does, her red rimmed eyes are fierce, bearing down on Alex with a fervor that scares her.“You are the _best_ thing that has ever happened to me Alex.I love you _so_ much.”

“Stop it.”Alex demands, pulling Kara into a hug.Needing her to shut the hell up with all of this nonsense.This was so fucked.“Stop.We’ll figure this out and—”

“We won’t.The Spectre doesn’t lie Alex.”Kara’s words are muffled in her shoulder, but Alex hears every one, as much as she wishes she couldn’t.“I can’t go with you.”

There’s an empty feeling that has settled in her chest and traveled down to her toes.Like someone scooped out her insides and hurled them into space.

Alex has worked with the DEO for nearly a decade now.She’d worked her way up through the ranks and has seen things she never even thought possible.She’s fought beside Supergirl and Superman and the Martian Manhunter.Has even taken a tour of the JLU and met the Bat Team and a few Green Lanterns.

She’s traveled to other _earths._ Has met the fastest man alive and the grumpiest.

She is well aware of the intricacies of time travel and even more aware of who the Spectre is.The God-like entity with a human host that seeks redemption.At least in his current form.

The Spectre _does_ have the power to manipulate time and space; can see time in every direction.If he told Kara that she would die on Krypton, then she would die on Krypton.

His intervention would have been the only thing that stopped her demise.

He hadn’t intervened.

Which meant.

Shit.

Alex feels her fingers dig into Kara’s flesh, the girl’s shoulders hunching at the slight discomfort but Kara otherwise remaining unmoved save for her sniffles.

Kara is warm against her, a solid mass of _life_ that Alex has cherished almost half _her_ life now.What world existed where Alex could live without Kara?

What world existed where she would _want to?_

She thought of their friends back home, of their family.Winn was already in the future, having departed with the Legion the day they’d been pulled back in time.He would realize what had happened as soon as his curious mind looked them up.

James… Alex didn’t really care about honestly.He’d always been _Kara’s_ friend and, while she knew he’d grieve the woman in her arms, she couldn’t bring herself to feel any sympathy towards him.

But Lena… Alex could understand that grief.Especially if the Luthor ever put together that Kara and Supergirl had vanished at the same time.

The world would mourn her disappearance.

But J’onn and Eliza…

Would they ever forgive Alex for what she was about to do?

_Protect your sister Alex._

_You’re Supergirl’s hero._

“I love you.” Alex whispers and Kara nods, her movements jerky as she tries to respond.Alex pulls back and presses a long kiss to Kara’s forehead, the time device pressing against Kara’s neck where Alex holds it in her hand.“I love you Kara.”

Kara nods again and blinks those gorgeous blue eyes at Alex.“Can you tell Eliza that—”

Alex presses her thumb against the cylinder’s internal mechanisms, the delicate gears snapping under the pressure and rendering the device obsolete.

There’s a resounding silence as Kara gapes at her, and Jor-El, who Alex had honestly forgotten even still existed, shoved past his niece to see the damage.

“I go where you go Kara.”Jor-El takes the device from her hand, looking between the destruction and Alex like he’s watching a ping pong tournament.Kara continues to gape.“We go together.Always together”

That seems to snap the blonde out of her stupor and she grabs the device from her Uncle, her anger displayed clearly in every facet of her being.

“What did you do?Why did you do that?”

“Because I can’t leave you.”She’s not shocked at the words, she’s always known them.She’d gone halfway across the continent to get away from the alien and Kara had followed her with all the tenacity and skill of a bloodhound.And Alex had never truly tried to force her away.Because she couldn’t leave Kara.She didn’t know why she felt so attached; why her heart threatened to crumble at the mere thought of such an act, except that she loved Kara.She loved this woman so much that she’d rather die with her, than live without her.It was stupid and selfish and probably unhealthy and Alex didn’t give two shits.“I don’t ever want to be without you Kara.I need you.”

Alex catches Kara when she collapses; pulling the blonde’s weight towards her and tucking Kara’s head against her chest.

“’s okay.”She murmurs, fingers threading through Kara’s hair as she sobs.“I’ve got you Kara.I swear, I’ve got you.”

~*~

It’s Alura who suggests that she and Alex take a walk.That they go see Krypton before tomorrow.Before it’s too late.

“Surely you’ve wanted to show Alex your home before?This is your chance.”Alura had urged and Kara hadn’t been able to deny that it would be useful.

After Alex had destroyed her best way home—her _only_ way back to their time—Kara had had what one could generously call a nervous breakdown.Alex had held her through it all, murmuring nonsense and petting Kara’s hair and face, while she interspersed her affection with kisses wherever she could reach.

A part of Kara, a much larger part than she cared to admit, was almost relieved that Alex had stayed.That she wouldn’t have to say goodbye so soon.However, the majority of her wanted to hit the woman.Wanted to punish her for giving Kara exactly what she wanted.

Alex hadn’t allowed her to sulk.

Once Kara had quieted, Alex had hauled her to her feet and fixed her with a determined glower.

“I don’t know what higher powers are at play here, but I’m not giving up on you.I still have all my notes from the last machine.We’ll rebuild that.Hard parts over, we just need to get the same materials and put it together.” Alex had pressed their foreheads together, her grip around the back of Kara’s neck firm.“If we go out it’s gonna be like Thelma and Louise, yeah?”

Unable to control the laugh of disbelief, Kara squeezed her eyes shut and allowed Alex’s presence to sooth the ragged shards of her heart.“They weren’t even gay.”

“Says you.”Alex accused, pulling back and looking at Kara oddly.For a moment, a flutter of fear enters Kara’s belly.The last thing she wants is to push Alex away because of recently discovered _feelings._ “Besides you’re not either.I think we can both agree that Gina gave off massive gay vibes in that movie.”

“Sure, sure.”Kara had said, happy to get off the topic as Alex turned to speak to her father.

It had been quick work to source the materials after that, the house AI’s going to grab most of the things they would need.

Kara had dutifully followed Alex’s orders and together they had Alex’s machine nearly completely rebuilt in a matter of hours.

“What does Zrhemin mean?”Alex grunted, when the bolt on the top of the vehicle proved to be stubborn.Kara had been watching her lazily, her eyes tracking the flex and pull of Alex’s arm muscles rather than following any lines of conversation.As such she is understandably startled when Alex pops that question and nearly falls out her seat in shock.

“Umm…” She replies eloquently when she has righted herself, Alex too busy working in the next bolt to pay her much attention.They were still waiting for more pieces that should be arriving any moment now so it wasn’t like she could run off with an excuse.Alex would be angrier at that than whatever lame answer Kara came up with.“In what context exactly?”

“Dunno,” Alex confessed finally done with her adjustments and pulling back to wipe her forearm across a glistening forehead.“I heard your mother telling your dad that she’d wanted you to have a ‘real’ one.She sounded really sad.”

Oh.Well, ok.Kara could work with that.

“Well… Earth doesn’t really have… I guess—you know the term ‘soulmates’?”

“Yeah.”Alex slumped into the seat next to her, swiping her finger across the table top and pressing where needed before a cool clear glass of water was raised through a temporary opening.The genius smiled in delight and took long pulls from the glass while Kara watched her throat work.

She cleared her throat to regain her composure.“Ok well soulmates are generally read as two parts of one soul yes, spilt apart and sent on different life paths with a goal of eventually reuniting in each life?”

Alex hummed her acceptance and Kara couldn’t help leaning in to peck the adorable cheek.The red blush of took over Alex’s face prompted another one and a giggle and made Kara glad she had always been affectionate with her ‘sister’.

“Ok,” she continued, fingers gesturing in front of her as she continued her explanation.“So for Kryptonians, the soul doesn’t exist in the same way it exists for humans.It’s more of a… life force, one part of a whole.We’re all connected by this one universal energy that flows through all of us.We call that _kah_ _.”_ Alex nods, her 1st glass of water now replaced for a new full glass that she takes slow sips from.“For my people, you can find a compatible partner within that pool because _everyone_ is now compatible since we all have the same energy flowing through us, yeah?But Zrhemin… Zrhemin are found only once and then you are ever bound.They’re considered an anomaly but my family has been… very fortunate the past two generations.”Kara takes a moment to breathe and pulls her hand through her hair while she considers her next words.Finally, she lays her index fingers in front of her face so that her nails touch and form a circle where her thumbs meet on the other side.“So, imagine Kah as a ring or a line and it’s simply flowing threw every person it touches.When a Zrhemin is created that flow is interrupted, like a wave, and _kah_ somehow connects.”The knuckles of each index raise, without breaking the connection at her nails, and meet over the focal point of the circle.She smiles gently and raises her eyes to Alex’s entranced face.“Against all odds two parts of one whole meet; they bond and that bond is absolute.We see _kah_ in everyone, that’s why my mom was hoping I would be blessed with a Zrhemin.Because it’s not just Kryptonians.It’s anyone with a beating heart.”

The two women smile at each other, a soft blush now staining Kara’s cheeks as she realizes how lucky and stupid, she has been; how much of a gift Alex truly is.

She was simply foolish… and unimaginably grateful.

Alex had just opened her mouth to respond when the bots finally returned with the last of the materials.Luna appears before them, a soothing presence as always as she relays the bounty that has been returned.

“Unfortunately, Alex Danvers, the hogin you requested is no longer available.We mined the last of it for your previous attempt.”

The agent blinks stupidly for a moment, her mouth hanging open as she tries to process that new information while Kara tries not to ask questions.Alex would only blow up at her in her current state.

“What do you mean ‘the last of it’?Can’t we just get it from another mine?”

Luna flickered before responding negatively.“No Alex Danvers.There is no more hogin on Krypton.We mined the last of it for your previous attempt.”

Alex is silent for several minutes, her entire body tensed as if she were readying herself for a battle.Kara watches from the sidelines, hands ringing in front of her before the silence stretches on too long and she hesitantly asks Luna if there is an alternative crystal they can use.Hogin was a yellow crystal that smelled of ash and only grew in the high mountains of Krypton.It was special but Kara didn’t think it was _that_ unique.

“There is no alternative.”Alex answers instead of Luna, sounding absolutely defeated and exhausted all at the same time.Her muscles relax, body drooping under the weight of the world as her plans unravel before her eyes.“That was the only way.I already checked and cross checked and… fuck.Fuck!”The last curse is a scream of frustration and Alex slams her fist into the crystal walls of the house.Another slew of swears escapes her as the appendage shatters on impact, and Kara rushes over to her to stop any further injuries.

Surprisingly, Alex allows her to get her to the medical room of the house and waits patiently for the AI’s there to diagnose and repair her broken digits.Neither of them talk but Kara stands beside Alex as she sits patiently in the provided chair and pulls of the brunette head to her chest in an attempt to further sooth the woman.She thinks it works.

Dinner is a somber affair and Kara haltingly explains to her family that the new machine is no longer an option.Lara looks sad and turns to play with baby Kal, while her mother gives a firm nod at the news and fusses with little Kara who has decided that everyone should know the table of elements of Earth.A piece of knowledge she had only recently acquired and was intent on showing off for the newcomers.

Alex picked at her food, avoiding eye contact with everyone which made it that much easier for Kara to meet her father’s and uncle’s eyes over the table, the former giving her a nod of confirmation before returning to his plate.

Good.

At least there was that.

That’s when Alura had suggested the expedition into Krypton’s countryside and it was decided that tomorrow, Kara would show Alex her home.

She’d say goodbye after that.

~*~

There was still the chance that Zor-El’s barrier around Argo city would work.

It was the only thought going through Alex’s head at the moment.

That there was still a way that Kara could make it out of this; there was still a way for Kara to survive.

Alex lay on her back in the huge bed that Kara’s parents had provided for them.Kara had tried to talk her down to breakfast but Alex had refused, needing some time to wrap her mind around her current circumstances.

Circumstances that involved her and Kara being stuck on an exploding planet.

She held up her hand, the one she had punched through a wall yesterday, and stared at her healed fingers.The knuckles weren’t even red.No evidence of her brief bout of stupidity.Going one on one with crystal?Not her best idea.

She wiggled her fingers before letting the hand drop back to her side, the soft thump of the landing creating a soft puff of air in the blankets that covered her.

Zor-El was a capable scientist and, between him and his brother, and Alex’s own input, she had little doubt that Argo City would survive Krypton’s destruction.

Alura looked exactly as Alex remembered her in the future.She hadn’t aged a day.

_Kara_ wouldn’t age a day.

Alex had no illusions that she would be given the same longevity.As a human, she did not draw power from a star.

She’d never see her mother or father again.

Or J’onn.

Vasquez.

Lucy…

She rolled onto her side, looking out at the angry red star on the horizon.Kryptonian’s really had a thing for floor to ceiling windows and Alex kind of wished that they had thought of curtains in their design pattern.

It certainly explained Kara’s lack of understanding for simple privacy and personal space when she had first arrived.

Alex huffed and rolled back onto her back.

Kara.

Kara would have to watch Alex die.

Knowing how much she loved Kara… how much Kara loved her…

She’d truly hoped to avoid that probability.

It wasn’t fair.

Kara shouldn’t have to say goodbye to everyone she loved.

She shouldn’t feel stuck in a cycle of loss.

That was just… it was such bullshit.

Unfortunately, there wasn't much Alex could do about any of that.The powers that be had decided that Kara needed to be taught a lesson.Alex had fought against that; had done everything she knew how to rectify the shit show that Kara's life was becoming.

she'd failed.

Spectacularly.

It was kind of embarrassing actually.

“How much longer do you need to wallow exactly?”

Kara’s voice, soft and caring as always washed over Alex like a balm… and raked through her heart like knives.So very unfair. 

“Just… go away Kara.”

Alex couldn’t stand to be around her right now.Couldn’t stand to be without her either.

Last night, before the two of them had escaped to the confines of their bedroom, Alex had pulled Zor-El aside and begged him to give one of the other pods to Kara—adult Kara.She’d pled her case as well as she had been able, told him exactly how much Kara meant to her world and her time; how losing Supergirl would throw Earth into chaos.

Zor-El had listened patiently, face entirely sympathetic as he gently coaxed her story from her.But when she was done, he had told her of the impossibility of her request.Apparently the hogin she’d needed for her machine was also a material they’d needed for the pods and there had only been enough for young Kara and baby Kal-El’s ships.

Kara wouldn’t be leaving Krypton.

If the Spectre was too be believed, even Argo City wouldn’t be an option and all of Alex’s worrying about immortality would be for naught.

Kara was going to die.

And so was Alex.

There was a put-out sigh and some sounds of movement before Kara spoke again.

“I can't really do that Alex.You and I… we don't exactly have a lot of time left so I'd prefer to not spend it well… moping.”

Alex rolls her eyes and pulls the covers over her head. She doesn't have the energy for this right now.

The cold is both abrupt and unwelcome when Kara rips the blankets off of her.Her knees meet her chin automatically as she curses and grapples for something to cover her cold flesh.Even on Krypton, Kara ran hot and so Alex had opted to go to bed in the soft green linen shift that Alura had provided.Great for privacy, not so great for retaining body heat.

“Kara!”

“Alex!”Kara mocks, and Alex can imagine her face pulling into that stupid face she insists Alex makes.The damn brat. “Get up!I want to spend my last day alive, with you please.”

Oh, come on!That was just playing dirty!

Kara throws a pile of clothes at her head and whacks her with a pillow “Breakfast in 10.”

Alex takes another thirty minutes to get ready.It’s not that she means to take so long but unfortunately, she just can’t seem to make her body move at anything more than a snail’s pace.Everything just feels heavy, like moving through molasses… and she can’t stop staring at her damn hands!

The hell. She’d been in worse spots than this and it hadn’t been so bad.

_Because Kara hadn’t been involved,_ her brain whispered back.Which did nothing for her self-esteem to know that her self-preservation meter was so low that she only gave a damn when it came to another person.Even if that person was Kara.

They locked eyes as soon as Alex entered the dining area, and, where before Kara would have sent her a blinding smile, she got only a soft mockery of the normal expression.Things were somber indeed.

She sat at the long table, choosing a chair opposite Kara’s and focusing on the pink flowy pearl of the tabletop.Everything on this planet was beautiful.Kara thunked a bowl of food in front of her and Alex followed the line of her arm up to her shoulders and jaw.Paused on the angle of her chin.

Kara had always had a stubborn pout but now her lips just looked sad.

Alex didn’t realize she was crying until she met Kara’s eyes again and realized how cloudy her vision was.

Her foster sister reached over the table and gently wiped at her face before tangling their fingers together.

Alex squeezed hard.“I love you.”

“I love you too,” Kara licked her lips and raised Alex’s hand to her temple with a heavy sigh.“Alex… no more tears today ok?You and I—we can spend our night crying together but today—just for today—I want to show you my home.Like we’re not going to die.Like we’re just Alex and Kara on Krypton, ok?I don’t want to die being angry Alex.I just want to be with you.”

It takes a while to compose herself, to force the thought of this beautiful woman being in any amount of pain out of her mind but when she does, she clings to her new steadiness with ferocity.

This time when their eyes meet, Alex’s are clear and her voice is firm.

“Ok.”

 

~*~

Krypton’s populace is still mostly indoors when Kara takes Alex out.Alura has insisted they dress in unmarked clothing since the Great Houses are under great suspicion from the populace.

Kara doesn’t mind and wears the rougher fabric with ease.Alex scratches at the drab grey cloth every now and then but it is otherwise content to let Kara pull her along.

They make their way down the winding roads leading away from the House of El until they come upon a stable master Kara had remembered as a child.She fights a childish grin as she walks into the small cave like structure, Alex adequately distracted by the gleaming gold walls.

A burly woman with dark hair and vivid green eyes stands behind the counter playing a game with a large square block and several small crystal balls.She doesn’t even glance up when Kara approaches but Kara’s come too far to take offence anyway.

“Excuse me?”She prompts kindly, overlooking the rude grunt she gets in return.“Could we please have use of a Tagnik'zur for the day?”

The woman grunts again, and barely looks up as she hands Kara a diamond.“Might as well take it for the rest of our lives huh?The way Rao is acting, looks like those damn nobles have really done us in huh?”

Alex comes to stand next to her, head tilted in curiosity at Kara’s flushed face.Not wanting to argue with the woman, Kara snatched up the diamond and led Alex down a narrow hallway that required some squeezing and maneuvering before they were suddenly on a rocky cliff barely two feet in length.Alex grabbed at her arm when she came out and Kara had to swallow a yelp as she was almost dragged over.

“Right.”She muttered, “definitely should have warned you about that.”Squeezing Alex’s hand, she gently pulls her along and down the cliffside, speaking louder so that Alex can actually hear her.“Sorry about that, just stay close ok?We’re almost there.”

She bites her lip when Alex grumbles but says nothing else for the short trip down.The valley the path leads them to takes another ten minutes to reach and is filled with white feathers and pearly looking rocks.Kara releases Alex’s hand and smiles when her foster sister picks up one of the feathers.The thing is taller than Alex herself.

“Um, Kara?Where exactly did you take me?”

Alex is glancing around, stepping cautiously as her eyes scan the skies.Ever the DEO agent, she makes sure to keep her back to the solid rocks as she tries to isolate the perceived threat.

So, when Kara purses her lips and lets out a sharp whistle, she understandably feels only marginally bad for Alex when one of those ‘rocks’ rises and reveals a tired golden eye.Kara knows that Alex knows something has changed by how tense her body becomes, the woman turning slowly and, to her credit, not screaming when she sees the giant eyeball behind her.

Alex backs up slowly until she bumps into Kara’s front.

With a soft huff, Kara drops the diamond into Alex’s palm.“Ask her for a ride.”

“What?”the word is muttered from the side of Alex’s mouth, hazel eyes still locked on gold as she keeps herself between Kara and the waking Tagnik'zur.

“She’s not going to hurt us,” Kara explains patiently, unable to resist kissing Alex’s temple to try to soothe some of her anxiety.“Just offer her the diamond and ask her if she can take us to Basing.”

Alex continues to look dubious.“You want me to talk to a dragon?”

Grin widening, Kara presses her lips into Alex’s hair.“Yes.”

There’s a loud put-upon sigh, but then Alex is slowly moving back towards the dragon and asking for transport.

Tagnik'zur’s are very large beings, probably large enough to fit half a football field at least and built on a stocky, not wiry frame.Four powerful legs ended in finger like claws, that flexed like a kitten after its mother as the being arose from it’s slumber.The classic snout, long like a reptiles but curved and pretty enough to also share some characteristics with a horse, opened and a long tongue snaked out in a yawn.Alex’s jaw drops in wonder and Kara checks this box on her list.She hadn’t known for absolute certain but now that she’s seen a Tagnik’zur again she realizes that they are also known as dragons on earth.Though the Earthen variety was green and covered in reptilian scales, the Tagnik'zur of Krypton could change their color at whim and were covered more in a soft pearly flesh and a downy feather softer than anything Kara had ever felt.Mellow Tagnik'zur more often took on the creamy pink complexion of the one they were currently bargaining with, a good sign at last.

Alex suddenly jumps and stumbles back to Kara, her hand pawing at Kara’s front.“Kara!”She hissed, “I heard it in my head!”

“Well obviously.”Kara says trying not to let the boob graze that had just occurred distract her too much.“That kind of mouth doesn’t really allow for verbal language.”

Alex glares at her.

Kara grins cheekily.

“Her name is.” Alex says, before frowning and trying again.Kara gently places a hand over her mouth.

“A Tagnik'zur’s name is a gift.If she gave it to you, it’s meant only for you.You have to protect it.”And Alex gives her such a seriously determined nod that Kara can’t help but grin and kiss her cheek.“Come on Dragon Speaker, let’s go on an adventure.” 

Alex falls off of the Tagnik'zur twice.Kara had felt bad the first time but had been unable to stop laughing at her the second time.

Alex shoves her when she gets back up and the momentum makes her fall off the opposite end.

Kara spends a good ten minutes trying to catch her breath after that bout of hilarity and, when she finally makes her way back up the dragon’s back, Alex is already there fighting her own grin.Apparently the Tagnik'zur has had enough of their antics however, and it binds them to it’s back as it finally takes off.

Alex has chosen the front seat and so Kara is pressed against her back, arms wrapped tight around her waist as Alex clutches at feathers.They’re basically kneeling on what amounts to a sloped floor, rather than actually straddling anything and, while flight has never really bothered Kara, Alex is clearly untrusting on their new mode of transportation.

Brunette hair whips back into Kara’s face and she laughs loud and clear and Alex tries to spit the stuff out of her mouth.Finally taking pity on her, she reaches up and puts tiny French braids in Alex’s hair.

They come out in mere minutes and Kara is laughing again.

When the Tagnik'zur starts to descend, Alex gasps and Kara does not fight the urge to lean forward and sing into her ear.

“Don’t you dare close your eyes.”Alex chokes on a giggle, sees how fast they’re going and actually almost does close her eyes.“Hold your breath, it gets better.”

“Fuck it.” Alex mutters, before releasing her death grip on the Tagnik'zur and raising her arms above her head.She lets out a loud whoop, followed by a death-defying scream as the Tagnik'zur responds to their excitement and goes into a series of loopty loops and turns.

When they finally land, Alex is blinking away tears and they’re both struggling to stand but Alex is actually looking excited now.She hugs the Tagnik'zur around the neck in thanks and gets hot breath in her face in return, the soft linen clothes she’s wearing blowing taught against her figure.

Kara fights to memorize that moment.Mental snapshot.

She’s put the moment of melancholy behind her when Alex turns to face her, a smile once again dancing on her lips. “Ready for act 2 scene 3?”

Alex grins and Kara grabs her hand and leads her into the field of waist high white plants.

“There’s a beach of sorts over there,” Kara gestures with her free hand straight ahead of them, an idea coming to her mind as they take large steps through the foliage.“Race you?”

And poor Alex, who is still slightly affected by Krypton’s gravitational field, is left blinking and yelping when Kara makes a break for it but does not, for some reason, release her hand.The two women break into breathless giggles as they run towards their destination, the white flowers of the plants there were crashing their chirping in alarm and fleeing into the air, creating a swirling dust storm of angry petals.Alex’s eyes glaze over in amazement and Kara tackles her aaround the waist.They go crashing to the ground, rolling several feet until it’s sand, not plants beneath them and Kara makes sure she had taken the brunt of the impact.

Alex raises up on her arms to glare down at her she’s sure, the brunette hair a mess of flowers and sand as she straddles Kara’s hips.

The whole thing is ridiculous.

Even though Alex’s mouth opens to speak, and the fire in her eyes promises a swift tongue lashing, nothing actually happens.Alex just sort of freezes.And stares.

Kara smiles up at her, chest moving unevenly as she continues to giggle and try to catch her breath and _not_ stare at how absolutely breathtaking Alex looks like this… how good she feels.

Their caught in that standoff for several minutes, and Kara has just started to wander how angry Alex would be if she kissed her, when something catches her eye.Frowning she turns her head in question, and realizes they’ve stumbled onto some sort of party, or gathering.A few dozen Kryptonians are gathered on the beach, sharing food and entertainment.Some of them are dancing and playing music while children run around in games of chase.

This is her home.

These are her people.

She still has so much she wants to share.

Turning back to Alex, Kara flips her foster sister over and offers her hand, “Ready?” 

~*~

Alex is confused.

Beyond confused.

She should have stayed in bed.

Clearly she was suffering from some form of depression, some desperate desire to connect before death.

That’s the only reason she can come up with for nearly kissing Kara a few minutes ago.

The blonde has thankfully gone to merge with her people, a big smile on her face as they offer her food and a place in their rather large social gathering.It gives Kara time to flex her social muscle and it gives Alex time to have a minor gay panic attack.

Or a large one.

A pretty fucking catastrophic one.

Because now she can’t stop thinking about kissing Kara.Of how perfect Kara had looked underneath her; happy.

Fuck.

She drops her head to her bent knees and groans.

What is her life right now?

Couldn’t she die with some semblance of peace?Could her gay not chill for like twenty four more hours before latching on to the closest hot girl?Who was straight by the way!

Alex jerks, eyes wide as she stares out at the murky red waters of Krypton—waters Kara has forbid her from touching lest she wants to disintegrate painfully—which honestly, not sounding like such a bad option right now!What was wrong with her?Straight?That’s the reason she came up with for this being wrong?That Kara was straight?

Not that she was, oh I don’t know, her sister?

_Foster sister,_ her mind helpfully supplies.

Get fucked, Alex returns acidly, now glowering out into the red sea.

The foster part of that title had never mattered to her before.Not since the whole Kenny Lee situation.Kara had become her sister in every way that had mattered, letting _anyone_ isolate that status based on blood had been fight worthy and now here Alex was trying to get out of her guilt through the same technicality.

It was after all, not illegal if they didn’t share blood.

_Or come from the same species…_

God!She was going to drill a hole through her brain if it didn’t shut the fuck up.Right now!If it said one more damn thing about Kara and them not being related…

A soft thump lands between her feet, and Kara wiggles the rest of the way through Alex’s weak defenses and therefore legs, offering her some brown meaty looking thing on a skewer.

“Bear belicious!”She waves the skewer in front of Alex gleefully until the agent is forced to take it or get wacked in the face.Kara meanwhile continues to chomp on what appears to be her third skewer.Fatass even on Krypton, Alex thinks fondly as she takes her own, more timid bite.

She’s surprised at the slight pineapple flavor, and the texture of pulled beef.Its not an animal though, there are seeds so that means it’s some sort of barbequed fruit.Much safer to consume.

She takes another heftier bite and feels her stomach gurgle in agreeance.

Kara smiles at her and offers her more, turning so her back is to Alex’s front and Alex is now serving as a glorified backrest.

Brat.

They finish their skewers in record time but Kara’s new friends bring them more food and then join them on the sand, singing and dancing and making a general mess of things.Kara is hauled to her feet by a rather effeminate looking male, who smiles charmingly at the woman seated next to Alex before whirling Kara away in a dance.

Her sister has two left feet but laughs that away in the face of her fun.

“It is good that you found us here.”The woman next to her says, Mavi For-Zan if Alex remembers correctly.She flashes Alex a tired grin, dark hair cut short to just above her ears.“My Zrhemin… it was getting hard to keep up with her.”

Alex blinks, turns back to the _woman_ Kara is dancing with, though she can spot the Adam’s apple from over here, and gives a firm nod.Not her business but… still kind of cool.Instead she asks, “Zrhemin?”

“Yes.Since we were sixteen.The council said they felt the pull but… they say and don’t say a lot of things.We decided long ago that we would take what they said with a grain of salt.”

“Do you…” Alex frowns, mulling over her words as she tries to decide what she wants to ask.Kara is dipped and nearly breaks her spine with how hard she is laughing.Alex feels her own lips twitch at the sound.“Do you know right away if you have a Zrhemin?Even if you don’t know who they are?”

Kara had made it sound much more rare than how casually this woman was making it seem.Like a once in a generation occurrence.With the smattering of Kryptonians on the beach right now, it could even be possible that Kara’s Zrhemin was present right now.

Mavi shakes her head, a soft smile on her face as she too watches the bumbling duo.“No.It is nothing so simple as that.”She tilts her head, curious gaze settling on Alex again.“You learned about the Zrhemin from the Great Houses yes?”

“Not exactly.”Alex hedges, knowing that any ties to the Great Houses in this place would not be a good thing.“A servant of one of the Great Houses more like.”

“That is understandable.”Mavi says with a nod and exasperated sigh.“They pollute the populace with their fiction.You must know then, that while they want you to believe that you can only be blessed at birth that is not true. _Kah_ does not respond to the whims of mortals.We are its vessels and Rao decides our fate.I was blessed with my Zrhemin when we were nearly fifteen.I know a man who met his when he was almost seventy.You have time.”

Alex feels her brow furrow and her heart thumps loudly in her chest.Behind the dancers, Rao has begun to dip, the edges of evening beginning to creep up on them. They don’t have much time left.

She pushes the thought aside and focuses her attention on Kara.On the joy and life that she is exuding right now.Imprints that smile in her memory.

“But how do you know?How do you find them?”

Mavi clucks, head tilting.“It is not… the bond happens as soon as you meet.There is no need to find them.When you are in the same place, at the same time, _Kah_ bends and rejoices in your union.It is simple…But it is also—do you wish for a bondmate?”

The question is so abrupt that Alex tears her eyes away from Kara to blink stupidly at Mavi instead.“Um,” she starts intelligently.“Yes.I mean.I guess so?”

“Then imagine them, right now.”Mavi prompts with a gentle smile, her amber eyes closing themselves.“Think of the most perfect person for you.Think of coming home to them, talking to them, holding them, raising a family with them.SO many times we are blind to _Kah_ _._ The Great Houses are more interested in logic than the heart so sometimes they miss it.If you have a Zrhemin, you will be able to imagine no one else in their stead.”

Alex’s heart stutters but she doesn’t close her eyes, Kara filling her vision at the first mention of _home._ She wanted to come home to Kara always.

There’s a rising panic that nearly swallows her whole before Mavi rests a hand on her knee.Alex squeezes her eyes shut, imagines Maggie, Sam, _Lena.Hell Lucy Fucking Lane!_ No one else feels quite like Kara.

The soft tinkling laugh and cheers as the dance finally comes to an end, makes her open her eyes and seek Kara again.Kara who is smiling at her.

Kara who has always, always stood by her side.

Kara her sister.

Kara her home.

“That is your Zrhemin.”Mavi says softly, following her line of vision to Kara and nodding.“You are lucky to have found her.We have such little time left now…”

~*~

Alex is quiet on the way back to the house.The Tagnik'zur setting them down gently on the lawn of the Great House.They thank her, Alex gives her another hug, pressing her forehead to the long feathery snout, and then she’s gone.Flying towards Rao’s setting image on the horizon.Like in a movie.

Kara can’t help the smile that breaks across her face at the imagery.Or the tears that sting her eyes.

Alex’s hand is rough and slightly sweaty in hers but she doesn’t mind.She only has a few more hours with her.Such a short time.Alex could be covered in Skunk fumes for all she cared.

Hip checking the brunette almost sends her corralling down the hill, and the glare she gets in return makes her retaliate with a kiss to the cheek.Alex scrunches up her face adorably.

“Wide load coming through.”Kara jokes, feels her eyes crinkle in the corners.

Alex snorts and looks her up and down.“There’s nothing wide about you.”She pauses, considers.“You’re perfect.”

The heat that fills her face also travels low in her belly, and Kara laughs awkwardly, trying and failing to wave the offhand compliment away.“Wide people are perfect too Alex.”

Alex doesn’t take the bait.

The El’s are waiting for them at the dinner table, and Kara breaks from Alex long enough to hug each member of her family as tightly as she possibly can.She hadn’t told Alex but her fingers had started to tingle in pain the moment they had made it back to Argo city.Staying here would not be an option.

It was something she’d worry about later, right now she was determined to have her last memories of her loved ones be filled with happiness.

So she tickles child Kara and blows raspberries on baby Kal-El’s belly.A small fluffy white puppy scampers around their feet as she plays with the children, and, when she looks up and catches Alex’s eyes, the longing that she has been pushing aside for the past two weeks—the past _decade—_ slam into her like a freight train.Alex gives her a pained smile and Kara looks away.

Later.

She’d have time for that later.

After dinner, Kara leads Alex to the highest floor in the El household and shows off their version of a telescope.A large transparent crystal globe that houses galaxies in its midst.She twists dials and switches on the red wall behind them and it zooms in on the milky way.Alex’s eyes immediately latch onto Earth and Kara throws caution to wind as she sidles up behind her, arms banding around Alex’s waist and chin resting on her shoulder.

“That’s your home Alex.That’s where you belong.”

Alex shakes her head stubbornly but instead of pulling away, she simply rests her hands over Kara’s on her stomach.“You’re my home.”

The words hit her like a physical blow and she has to take a second to remember how to breathe.

“And you’re mine.”The pain has traveled up her arms and started in her legs now and she knows her time has run out.She places a soft kiss on Alex’s neck, even though she badly wants to just kiss her.Just once.For real.She’d never been that brave though.Alex shudders and Kara raises one hand to touch the spot her lips had just grazed.“Please don’t hate me for this.”

“Wha?”It’s a slurred question and Alex is already unconscious by the time the last syllable has left her lips, the empty syringe dropping from Kara’s hand.

Not the goodbye she’d been hoping for, but the only one she could see where Alex actually made it off the planet.

“I’m so sorry Alex.”Her movements are lethargic as she hoists the brunette into her arms, moving to the transporter and taking it to the launch point for the pods.

Zor-El is already waiting for her and has the pod open and waiting when she arrives. 

“You’re sure she won’t wake up?”Kara asks as she slides Alex into the seat as gently as she can.

“Not until 2018.”Zor-El confirms as he punches a code into the console.“She’ll survive the trip but she’ll still age approximately five years.”

Kara bites her lip and cups Alex’s sleeping face, her Zrhemin looking breathtakingly beautiful in this moment.Their last moment.“It’s better than nothing.”Is what she says, before pressing her lips to Alex’s forehead in a last embrace, inhaling sharply to remember her scent.It feels wrong, letting her go like this but she hadn’t been able to work up the courage to write a letter or send a note.Maybe Alex would question the Alura AI when she got back to their time.Her mother would hopefully know to include her reasons in there.Still…She could make one last confession.

Alex’s cheek is soft under her thumb and she forces her voice to remain steady as she whispers her final truth.“You are the love of my life.”

There’s no response, not that Kara expected one, but it still feels so… empty.

She drops her hand and steps back, the pod sealing itself as it prepares to take off.

When it does, when it is no more than a memory imprinted in Kara’s mind, Zor-El holds her, murmuring gently into her ear.

Then the ground starts to shake and Kara pulls away.

“I can’t stay here dad.You have to save Kara and mom.” She shakes her head, tears falling onto her cheeks now that she has no reason to keep them hidden.“I’m sorry I wasted it.I wish I could have made you proud of me.”

She’s not quite sure how she makes it back to that beach, but she knows its deserted and the water has risen so much that she has to sit on the rocky outcrops to avoid the now bubbling surface.Maybe not the safest choice, but it was the only place she could think to go.

Fiery balls fall from the sky and strike Krypton’s surface, Rao finally sending his destruction to the planet that had gone so astray.Kara feels the heat of it on her face and wishes she had someone there with her.

She can admit now that she’s scared, even if there’s no one left to admit it to.

_“Kara Zor-El, I have never been prouder of anyone else in my whole life.You are everything your mother and I wanted you to be.You are everything we never even imagined could be possible.”_

She really wants her parents right now.

When the ground starts to crack beneath her, she hides her face in her knees and tries to remember Earth.Lazy Sundays and Eliza waking her up for school; Jeremiah making silly face pancakes and giving her a heavy pair of glasses; Winn making her suits; James’ terrible flirting; Lena’s complete lack of social skills; J’onn’s grumbling acceptance; Alex’s… Alex.

She sobs, a whine sticking in her throat and forcing her to her feet.There’s a lot of stumbling involved as she walks on ground that is uneven, smoking, and cracked open but she makes it back to the field with the white flowers before she is unceremoniously shoved on her back.

Might have been a good idea to pay attention to other life forms.

“If you _ever_ in your _life_ try to send me away again, I will _end_ you Kara!Do you hear me!?”Alex grabs her by the front of her shirt and shakes, Kara’s head bobbing in absolute shock as the woman looms over her.“I will kill you myself!Why would you do that?What were you thinking?”

“I don’t know.”Kara gasps, fingers fumbling at Alex’s wrists.Wanting to touch but afraid she was dreaming this all up.“I was so stupid.I’m a fucking idiot Alex.”

And then she’s being hauled into warm arms, and there’s no denying that this is real.That Alex is real and has somehow come back for her.

“I’m immune to most poisons you idiot.You’re lucky that even managed to last ten minutes.I woke up and turned the pod around. I called—The dragon helped me find you.”Alex’s breath is hot and quick at her neck and its all Kara can do to hold on.She should be angry—re: pissed—that Alex has destroyed her plans to save her but at the moment all she can feel is a mind-numbing relief.Followed rather quickly by more shock when Alex grabs her face and kisses her, a hard, short peck that short circuits what’s left of Kara’s brain.“Come on.”Alex prompts, voice shaky and clogged with tears.“Your parents told me where Astra lived.It’s outside of Argo so you shouldn’t be in any pain there.”

By the time they make it to the House of In-Ze, Kara has convinced herself that the kiss was a fluke.A product of Alex’s own fears and desperation.Alex doesn’t bring it up so neither does she.

The Tagnik'zur lands on the lawn and lets them down before flying quickly back the way she had come.

“Family,” is all Alex says when Kara turns to her and she quickly pulls Kara into the abandoned home.

The sounds of destruction are muted inside the home, but no less terrifying and Kara find herself whimpering Alex’s name.

“It’s ok.”Alex soothes, leading her to the first room without windows that she can find and pulling Kara down into her lap.“You’re ok.I’ve got you.Hey,” she cups Kara’s cheeks and forces her head up, “what were you thinking huh?We said we’d go together.”Alex is crying even as she pulls Kara closer, fingers tracing Kara’s face.“We promised you jerk.”

“I didn’t want you to die.”Truth.She would have given anything for Alex’s life.

“No, you just thought you’d tell me you loved me and stick me in a pod never to see me again, right?Not bitter by the way.”

When Kara pulls back to look at her, there’s an almost teasing smile on Alex’s lips.“You heard that?”

The smile turns pained.“Immune to most poisons Kara.I was already almost conscious again by that point.”There’s a loud explosion outside the doors and Kara jerks.Alex pulls her closer and shushes her, waiting for the noise to die down some before asking a simple, “why me?”

There’s a million things Kara could say to that question.

So many things that she had imagined saying these past few days.

Things that wouldn’t make Alex hate her for feeling this way.

For changing things.

Ruining things.

In the end it all falls away and she’s left with a handful of words and her heart.

“I’m not sure, it’s just, well no else really ever made sense you know?”She tries for her own smile but its weak and shatters in a matter of seconds.It doesn’t matter anyway because then Alex is kissing her again.The feel of it is like nothing Kara has ever known, soft and warm and kind of tasting of salt.But it sets her pulse thrumming, loud and vibrant in her ears until she can literally see colors burst behind her closed eyelids.

“Yeah.”Alex breathes, pulling her face closer to hers and sealing their mouths together again.The noise from before is gone, replaced by an almost eerie silence.Kara smells smoke and whimpers into Alex’s mouth, trying to stay in this moment and not let what was happening beyond those closed doors affect her.“I do know.I love you, Kara.”

Her body trembles, and she can’t control the terror that tears at her focus but she wants Alex to know what she means to her.How much she means to her.“Alex—”

“You have made me so happy Kara.”Alex mutters between kisses, arms strong and secure where they loop around her.“I’m so happy with you.”

“You too!”She sobs, trying to kiss back but unable to do much more than ugly cry.“You’ve made me happy too!”

There’s a bright light coming from beyond the door, filling the cracks with its brilliance and Alex hides Kara’s face from it, her Zrhemin’s mouth now pressed to Kara’s ear.

“You are my favorite thing Kara.I wouldn’t trade one second of my life with you.Not one second.”Alex’s hands are everywhere, her body enveloping Kara’s in her last attempt at defense.Ever the protector.

“I love you.”It’s all she can think to say, her own terror nearly overwhelming at this point as she squeezes her eyes shut.She honestly hadn’t thought she’d be this scared.Had thought living through one apocalypse would better prepare her for this.But even with Alex it felt impossible.“I love you so much.”

“I love you.My Sermin.”

And despite everything Kara can’t help the laugh that bubbles in her throat.“No,” she corrects, “it’s Zrhemin.The ‘r’ is before the—”

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

It's very hot.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

She knows him when she sees him.

The tall grey man clad in green.

Hardly incognito.

She wants to yell and rant, but Kara is still crying in her arms and Alex is having a hard time understanding where they are.

It’s not hot anymore, kind of cold actually.And there’s no color, just an inky black void.

“This is your one and only warning.Do not mess with the timeline again.”His voice booms against their skulls, and then nothing.

~*~

 

 

 

 

 

It is very cold.

 

 

 

 

 

~*~

“You have a rather sharp intellect!”

Brainy?

“You were dead.”

“Yes.”

“But now you’re not?”

“Yes.”

“What?”

“Hey!Do we have to do CPR?Are there rules here?”

“Barry!What did you feel like when you went back in time and fucked everything up?”

“Language!”

“Sorry!Sorry!”

“I didn’t fu—dge anything up!Well, not a lot.”

“I told you we should have brought Felicity, this is more her specialty than mine.”

“Alex, can you hear me?”

Ow.

“Of course she can’t hear you idiot!She’s in a coma clearly!”

“Yeah, a gay one!”

“Lucy!”

“What?!Look where her hand is—"

“Kara?”

“Can I give Kara CPR?”

“No!”

Kara.

“Oh sweetheart, are you ok?Open your eyes for me.”Soft hands are in her hair, tugging her away from—

Alex shoots up, her arms banding around Kara’s still form as she blinks up at her family in shock.

What the fuck?

They’re all there.Eliza is holding her hands up next to her, J’onn crouched on their other side.Lucy and Oliver, weird combination… Barry and Cisco are behind them and… Zor-El? _Jor-El?Lara?_

_What the—_

“Yeah.”That’s Clark, his large blue eyes going back and forth between his now alive parents.“We were kind of hoping you could help us explain this.”

Kara grumbles and Alex snaps her head back to the woman in her arms, to the blinking eyes and pursed lips.

So beautiful.

And very much living.

“Hi.”She breathes, forgetting for a moment that they have an audience and only recognizing that they are home.They are home and Kara is alive.How?

Alex remembers waking up in that pod.She’d slammed herself against the sides in fury before her brain had kicked in and reminded her that she’d flown one of these things before.Getting back to Krypton had seemed a splendidly stupid idea, but it was one she was very happy she’d made when she’d seen Kara frolicking around in a field of white daisies.

And ok, maybe she hadn’t been frolicking but still!She’d been without Alex and that had been unacceptable. _Especially_ when she realized how absolutely terrified the idiot was!Kara had been a shaking mess, barely able to stand or function passed a few direct orders.

Alex had no idea if her being there had made anything better but holding Kara had made _her_ feel better.Had set her soul aflame with a rightness she’d never known in her life.

It had been worth it.

She hadn’t really been going back to die _for_ Kara but dying _with_ her?Completely worth it.

Kara squints at her, squints passed her, returns her eyes to Alex.“Am I dead?”

“No.”She chuckles, moving her shoulder to wipe at the tears not streaming down her face.“No, you jerk.Despite your best efforts, you are somehow alive.”

“That’s good.”Kara says, before digging one hand into Alex’s hair and pulling herself up.Kara’s lips are chapped and hot when they close around Alex’s but it still feels like love.Alex’s heart stutters and she has a moment to realize that Kara is kissing her in front of her mother, before her brain fries and all she can see and feel is Kara.

It’s Cisco’s loud protests that pull them apart, and Alex notices more than a few red faces, her own included.

Kara sighs contently, and kisses her cheek.“I’m probably going to throw up a lot later and freak out until I forget my own name so I’m really glad I got that out now.”

“Of course.”Alex squeaks.

And then Kara is once again unconscious and Alex’s head is swimming, and her mother is there and…

And…

And.

~*~

 

When Kara wakes up this time, she is in her own bed.

Alone.

Again.

It takes mere minutes for the events of the past two weeks to catch up with her and then she is rolling out of her fluffy comforter and grabbing a sweater.

She needs Alex.Needs to see her and touch her and make sure she’s ok.Make sure they hadn’t been enveloped in a bright light of heat strong enough to melt the skin from her bones.

That kind of thing.

Her living room is in a state of disarray, looking more like an adult sleepaway camp then an actual apartment and she is careful to maneuver herself around the sleeping bodies of her family and friends.

As happy as she is to see them, they’re not who she needs right now.The pain in her chest is only increasing, and she’s barely holding herself back from a full-fledged panic attack.

She finds Alex seated at the kitchen island with Eliza, her hair damp from a shower and dressed in one of Kara’s oversized sweaters and a pair of leggings.

The vice around her heart loosens and she pauses near the edge of the room to take in the scene before her.

Alex’s hands are holding a piece of cooking string and she’s touching the far ends together while the middle sags between her fingers.

“Andso then _kah_ touches and you have a Zrhemin.”Eliza stares at her blankly, a mug of what appears to be coffee held in front of her face.Alex licks her lips and glances at her visual aid.“Um, because you know it’s like rare, so it’s like your souls touch, right?Which is kind of like soulmates but better?”She wriggles the string as if that will help and Kara can’t help the snicker that comes from her chest.

“You should have shown her with your fingers.”Alex’s cheek is smooth and warm under her lips as she takes the seat next to her, snagging a piece of toast from Eliza’s plate.Her foster mother turns that stunned gaze to her and Kara tries to smile kindly.She wraps her hands around Eliza’s and offers her own explanation.“I love your daughter.Very much.I want to spend the rest of my life with her, zrhemin or not. Soulmate or not.We’ve known each other more than half our lives so you already know we’re going to hurt each other and argue.It’s going to get messy.But you also know that we always find our way back.We’re just asking that you trust us to find our way back.”

Her words seem to shake Eliza out of the last of her fog, because the elder Danvers looks between them for several tense minutes before nodding decisively.“It’s your lives… I just… ask that you both stay safe.That you _talk…”_ she shakes her head, face clouded as she rubs her thumb over Kara’s hand.“I’m your mother and I’m always going to worry but… if this is what you need… just give me some time?”

Alex nods, jumping onto that last request like a lifeline.“Of course.Whatever you need.”

Eliza gives them another tight smile, before patting Kara’s hands.

“Are you hungry?”

Her stomach answers for her, loud and obnoxious and enough to wake some of the others from their slumber.

Alex shyly takes her hand when Eliza moves to the stove and Kara beams at her.

She has no idea _how_ she is here right now but there is no way she’s going to waste this.Her heart is thundering in her chest and she knows she’s going to have severely damaging nightmares for weeks but for now…

Alex scooches closer and offers her mug of coffee for Kara to drink.

She smiles and takes a sip.

Not coffee.

Hot Chocolate.

J’onn rumbles and stands, walking over to both women and resting his hands on their shoulders.“Mind explaining this?”

So Kara starts her explanation of time travel again, and Alex picks up when they get to Krypton.

“Time is linear and it doesn’t like to be messed with.But if you could hide an object from time, such that they events that occurred in the past are still the same, despite the changes, then you could theoretically alter the future.”There are a few blank stares, and Lois has moved from the kitchen where she was digging up Alex’s good booze, to stand by her husband where he is sitting at the dining room table, still in some sort of stupor.“I told Zor-El to save Argo and then put himself, Jor-El, and Lara to sleep for a few years until the whole Reign thing was resolved.Now we’re in the present and the future is changed but not the past.”

There’s a chorus of ‘oohhh’s’ and Kara can’t help looking at her like she just invented something better than potstickers.Obviously she can’t resist kissing that face.

Alex blushes bright red but doesn’t pull away, fingers remaining tangled with Kara’s throughout it all.

“During their time on Krypton, Alex also merged her consciousness with our house AI.”Alura continues, her fingers threading with her husband’s.“And when Kara came to Argo City and talked about all of her friends, there was one name that stood out.Cisco Ramone.With his abilities, we would be able to isolate your signature and pull you back.Watching you go the first time was hard enough.I was not about to stand by a second time.”

Kara smiles at her mother and releases Alex long enough to hug, and be hugged by her parent’s.

“That is… a lot of circles.”Clark says, still looking at his mother like he wasn’t quite sure what was happening.

“Yes.”Alex confirms.Kara watches with some concern when Clark snatches the drink from Lois’ hand and tosses it back.

“It makes complete sense to me.”Brainy says from where he’s seated on the couch.

“J‘onn?”Alex questions, accepting a plate stacked with Pancakes and placing it down in front of Kara.“I’m gonna need at least two weeks before I start my new job.And I’d appreciate a psych referral please.”

Her worry for Clark momentarily set aside for her hunger, Kara presses another kiss to Alex’s cheek—she has a very kissable face, sue her—and digs in to her food.Alex blushes again but rests her arm along the back of Kara’s chair.

“Of course.”J’onn nods with a shocked look on his face.Probably because of the psych consult.Alex never saw the resident doctor.She’d been of the mind that to do so was a sign of weakness.Her strength in this moment, born as it may be from a certain death experience, made Kara’s insides tingle with pride.

“Me too.”Kara says, hand dropping to squeeze Alex’s thigh while she faced their audience. “I can’t—I need some time…And a doctor if you know anyone…”

“I do.”Lucy says gently, taking the seat across from Alex and Kara and squinting at them over her own mug.“I’ll set it all up.James will be fine with you taking time, right James?”

James nods too and Alex raises her next cup to them before stealing a strip of bacon from the plate Eliza had just set down.

“During your… _time,_ ” Zor-El fidgets, slightly glancing over his shoulder at his wife before stammering on.“Do you think that we could perhaps, share a meal?As a family?”

And Kara’s heart melts, body positively vibrating at everything that has happened.Everything that has changed.

“I’d love to.”

A quick glance to the side shows that Clark is finally calming down and is allowing Lara to fuss over his hair.

Zor-El breathes a sigh of relief and nods, fingers tapping together in thought.“Good.I don’t think Astra would have been very pleased with us if we delayed any longer.”

Alex’s mug shatters on the floor, her sis— _girlfriend—_ blinking round owl eyes at her father as Clark finally loses his shit.

“ _ASTRA!?!?”_

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, so for anyone confused:
> 
> Alex and Kara went back in time yes? This of them as at point C, and going back to point A, on a straight line.
> 
> Now Alura et el, they exist in point A but when Alex told them how to survive, they continued to exist into point B and C etc. When they reached point C, they used their own knowledge and Cisco's powers to 'grab' Kara and Alex from point A and drag them back to point C.
> 
> Alex essentially saved herself and Kara by saving the Kryptonian's...
> 
> Make sense?
> 
> Also, the Spectre allowed it because he's a good guy and no one can say no to Kara's face.
> 
> And lastly, Alura 'caught' Astra's pod when it was jettisoned into space and she threw her into a regen chamber. Hence Astra lives like I always wanted. Yay! :)
> 
> Aaaannnddd that's my version of what going back in time could have done to the scooby gang.
> 
> Hope you liked it. Until next year!
> 
> ~Chronicles


End file.
